Category Archives: NFL Playoffs

A Brief NFL Interlude

America has been deprived of the Whiner Bowl thanks to another trademark killer Brett Favre interception late in the NFC Championship game Sunday night and the New Orleans Saints, in a win that they had zero business getting are on the way to the crown jewel of putrifying American Capitalism that is the Super Bowl. The plucky New York Jets (gotta love that Murdoch rag pic above) were stunning the Indianapolis Colts at the half 17-13 in the AFC game but the NFL flew into action and ensured that golden boy Peyton Manning’s bacon was pulled out of the fire once again as the second half was filled with the usual phantom calls and non calls and a flurry of yellow flags that would even shock admitted former NBA referee and fixer Tim Donaghy. It was all downhill for the JETS-JETS-JETS from the half, there was NO way that the networks, the advertisers, the fans outside the Big Apple nor the league itself wanted Rex ‘Fatman’ Ryan’s greenies even close to the big game. Manning of course is a cunt, a crybaby and the face of the corporate gargantuan football/marketing machine and far be it from the powers that be to not give him a little needed assistance. Hey, it happened in 2007 when the New England Patriots were throttling the Colts 21-3 and going for the four score lead until an inexplicable offensive pass interference call flipped the momentum, and the game to Indy who would later go on to spank Da Bears in the Super Bowl. It also happened during the prior year’s divisional round where the Steelers were anally raped by the officials agains the Colts although prevailed when Indy missed a late field goal sending crybaby Peyton into an apoplectic shit fit against kicker Mike Vandarjagt in a Dan Marino style blame it on someone else jag that was as ugly as it was revelatory that Manning was a mutinous loser (he defyed deity coach Tony Dungy in waving off the punt team earlier) and a temper tantrum throwing diaper dumper.

So alas, the Colts with big assists from the zebras during the second half have banished the Jets and are packing for Miami. Interestingly enough if the Colts are to prevail it would be the second time that a former Tony Dungy team will have won the hardware the year after the sainted head coach has departed, the 2002 Tampa Bay Buccaneers being the first. Dungy was another league favorite, his calm demeanor and piousness were the desirable traits for a model corporate drone. Now I am not going to go off on a rant about open displays and religion during football games which is one thing that I despise and has no place despite the fallacious claims that this is a Christian Nation that the Raptureheads and Jesus Juicers push down the rest of our throats. I will save that little rant for the Tim Tebow/Focus on Family advertisement to air during the big game in two weeks. Needless to say we need more balls out atheism in football (not to mention politics and public life in general) and I would love to for one time hear a losing player melt down after a loss and claim that God fucked him and his team.

Anyway back to Favre, his sickening soap opera is now hopefully over. After dicking his longtime employer the Green Bay Packers over by retiring and then changing his mind, being a big time distraction and eventually forcing a trade to the Jets where he alienated half the team and got coach Eric ‘Augustus Gloop’ Mangini fired. Favre then ‘retired’ again only to show up with the Minnesota Vikings after training camp and installed over the guys who actually were loyal soldiers by default. He had a resurgent year, spanked Green Bay twice in nationally televised spectacles and came dangerously close to sabotaging this team as well when he publicly fueded with head coach Brad Childress late in the year. Alas, all things were well, Favre tore the ass out of the Dallas Cowboys in round one and was despite one of the most savage ass kickings I have ever seen administered to a quarterback by the Saints D nearly pulled it off…until that idiotic interception finally ended the little psychodrama.

Mercifully the games are over, last night’s FOX broadcast from the Superdome set a record for fucking commercials and I could have really done without the shot of the owner’s box where Tom Benson was schmoozing with Poppy and Barbara Bush but hey, that is what FOX is all about right? At least they won’t be televising the Super Bowl so we can all be spared of their faux patriotic swill until next year….or for you peckerwoods, during the upcoming NASCAR season.

Even more mercifully since both title games were indoors there were no flyovers!

Just my two cents over the mornin’ cup o’ joe