Category Archives: War On Christmas

A Happy Holiday Hosing to All

Christmas is coming and it will be a sad occasion in the tent cities and other homeless shelters that are a result of the mammoth, sans lube ass fucking delivered by the American oligarchy and it’s whores like that vile corrupt little bastard Joe Lieberman in D.C., Wall Street bagman Barack Obama has delivered a veritable sleighful of same old shit instead of the change that was promised, the worn and threadbare stockings are going to be as empty as his campaign promises and the souls of Wall Street bankers. In yet another of the craven cave-ins by the Vichy DemocRAT party the shit pit Senate commanded by one former Nevada Gaming Commissioner Harry Reid has gutted any sort of health care ‘reform’ short of arming the insurance parasites and empowering them to force the financially doomed to buy protection money, considering Harry’s rumored affiliation with organized crime is it really any surprise that it came to this? Yesterday it was Lansky Lieberman’s baseball bat strike to the kneecaps that killed the new 55 year old age lowering for Medicare eligibility (which would satisfy my personal needs – fuck everyone else and the public option too…I am going native in the land of ‘fuck you I got mine) and today it’s smacking down the importation of pharmaceuticals from Canada. Bring out the leeches! Oh, don’t bother, they’re already here.

So we once again arrive at the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, the right-wing freaks are again shrieking about the phony librul [sic] War on Christmas, this time plumbing the depths of the deranged mind of peckerwoods, Beckers and Palinazis with the ludicrous claim that phony librul Obama had scheduled his presidential address on December 1st to preempt that great American traditional holiday treat A Charlie Brown Christmas. This latest upchucking of fascist media bile even tops the typical Yuletide green vomit spew of Bill O’Reilly and the rest of the FOX Nazis, it seems to me that for one thing Obama was giving the speech to announce the escalation of the war in Afghanistan and we all know that war and murdering Muslim babies is as beloved to the savage chickenhawk cowards on the right as Grandma’s sweet potato pie and secondly wasn’t one of the big themes of A Charlie Brown Christmas the creeping commercialism that had taken over Christmas to begin with? I mean here in the near fully evolved Capitalist shithole of dog eat dog Murka Santa and the retailers, credit card companies and Madison Avenue pimps long ago triumphed over Jesus who has played second banana to the jolly fat man in the red suit for decades now. Gotta give it to the right wing freaks, their sense of history is as distorted as ever and it’s just more piss in the egg nog for everyone else.

So anyway, I want to throw out a few Christmas thoughts before my annual holiday hiatus from blogging (I will return after the first of the year) and foremost I want to give a nice big thank you to Citibank’s top flesh eating buzzard Vikram ‘the bandit’ Pandit. Your government subsidized den of usury and iniquity sent me out a nice little statement on my credit cards (which I had for year and NEVER missed a payment date on) that announced that I could either choose to keep your little plastic devil cards and agree to a 30 + percent interest rate or opt-out by a specified date and keep my old terms. Thanks for the warning fuckwad and thanks even more for this list of stuff that I, Ed Encho have put on your cards prior to my opting out and then advising my lawyer to send you my intention to file bankruptcy letters in the next few months:

1 – 2 year subscription to International Socialist Review
1 – digital camera
1 – Blu Ray player
1 – Inglourious Basterds Blu Ray
1 – Dark Knight Blu Ray
1 – Gladiator Saphire Edition Blu Ray
1 – V for Vendetta Blu Ray
1 – Acer Netbook mini-computer
1 – iPod nano 6th generation (16 gbs)
5 – cases Samuel Adams beer
4 – cases Budweiser
3 – 1.75 liter bottles of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum
1 – 1.75 liter bottle of Grand Marnier
2 – Quarts of Jack Daniels sippin’ whiskey
4 – Gallons assorted Gallo jugs of wine
3 – Spiral Sliced Hams (avg. 7 lbs)
2 – Butterball frozen turkey breasts
5 – lbs gourmet coffee
1 – programmable deluxe coffee maker
5 – Assorted Video Games
1 – Drive By Truckers CD
1 – REM Live CD
1 – Each remastered Beatles CD’s (Abbey Road, White Album, Sgt. Pepper)
5 – pounds fresh 20-25 shrimp
5 – pounds fresh snow crab legs
2 – Boxes of 48 miniature cordial chocolate liquor bottles
2 – Cheescake Factory 12 individual sliced cheesecakes
10 lbs – Planters Dry Roasted peanuts
5 lbs – Macadamia nuts
6 – Assorted dog chew toys (moose, duck, bobo, holiday bobo, raccoon, pig and hedgehog)
1 – Deluxe dog bed
1 – Dinner for four at the Outback restaurant along with appetizers (the coconut shrimp are just fucking great) and drinks.

So you little pigfucker, I would like to thank you from myself, my family and my friends for all of the great swag that I have run up in the last few weeks on Citi’s dole and I still have nine more shopping days to go, just under 2,000 left (can you say PARTY TIME) of available credit and thirteen more days until the opt out deadline. I would strongly encourage every other American who is on to the scam to do likewise. It’s a way to boost the economy by buying shit during the season and to shaft you sleazy pricks on the back end.

And if there is anything I hate more than the very concept of Christmas and what it has mutated into in Capitalist America – malls full of morons, political operatives using the season to pander to the angry white fuckwads who have been deprived of it all for their entire pathetic lives, having to be nice to people who you ordinarily would sooner rip their throats out, relatives straight out of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – it is the inconvenient little truth that it’s not even Jesus’s birthday, it is an arbitrary date plucked from the ass of the Roman Emperor Constantine in something like the Fourth Century, don’t tell that to the Palinazi zombies though. You see my friends, Christmas is bullshit, it has been eaten alive by Santa Claus and same pus filled, four-flushing scumbags who are arbitrarily altering the rules on credit card accounts in the aftermath of their bloodsucking feast at the taxpayer trough. It’s all phony and here in Chumpland the suckers eat it up.

And one of the most hypocritical and dishonest aspects of the holiday season is having to pretend to like people who are complete assholes, ignoramuses, blowhards, bigots and the worst of them all: Republicans. A wasted night, usually on a Saturday when there are the NCAA football conference championship games on and spent amidst a gaggle of boring, self-centered idiots who know nothing of history, economics, civics or a concept of what really goes on in the world that is more advanced than the cartoon bullshit that passes for the news in this rotting empire. I must qualify my disdain for these parties in that I do make a distinction between family gatherings and parties with close friends rather than co-workers or the even more dreadful spouse’s co-workers. These affairs are intolerable, the music sucks, the company is bad and often times since they are pot luck events the food is even worse.

A particularly embarrassing and rather disgusting experience that has haunted me for quite awhile comes to mind. One year despite knowing better I allowed myself to be dragged to a Christmas party despite having a gastrointestinal virus (not a good thing for those who suffer from the dreaded I.B.S. to begin with. Now at this party there were about thirty people crammed into a smallish two bedroom suburban house with one and a half bathrooms. Now when the beer and booze are flowing at these sort of soirees there is always a wait for the use of the facilities as the evening goes on. Now combine the aforementioned gastrointestinal virus, I.B.S. and some food that is served (I believe that it was some sort of dip that did it) are a seriously problematic combination. Now when you take into consideration the long lines to use the john, the perfect storm comes together, a category four bowel storm to put it more precisely.

By the time that I painfully winded my way down the hallway, doubled over in agony and feeling like the alien was gestating inside of me I was able to make it inside the bathroom. My pants were already down before the door was fully closed and I just managed to park upon the porcelain a split second before what felt like three cubic feet of volcanic mud erupted from my ass at terminal velocity. I know that this is pretty gross but now comes the truly horrifying part. The shitstorm was so fierce that it flew up the back of the throne and soaked the synthetic fur cover of the toilet seat. So now in addition to having a hallway full of angry revelers about to piss in their pants ready to break down the door it was necessary to work very quickly to wash out the toilet cover – unfortunately it was the half bath so the sink was the only place available. The best that I could do was to get the festive Christmas red and white fur toilet seat cover back to more of a maroon and beige and then still half dripping back onto the lid which I propped up again and slithered away hoping that nobody would make the connection and blame me for it. Then I immediately got into my car without saying goodbye and drove like hell away from the scene of the crime.

Now before anybody gets a really negative idea about my character I must admit that I made the whole thing up but you get the point. I did however attend a party once where a lady from the office got so shitfaced that she passed out on the boss’s bed and then once the room started spinning out of control vomited a malodorous mess of jungle juice punch, egg nog and half-digested mini-meatballs and little smokies all over what looked to be a very expensive white fur comforter. Since I loathed both of them I laughed so hard that I nearly really did shit my pants.

If there is a silver lining to the coming economic collapse it is that the caterwauling little monsters at the mall will no longer be able to get everything that they want because daddy and mommy’s plastic is maxed out once and for all. This country has been submerged in shit largely because of the ignorant toxic waste generation who were children during the Reagan years along with their greedy, self-indulgent, boorish materialism who have for too long been taught that ignorance is a virtue and who have been weaned suckling at the tit of instant gratification. For the first time in these little spoiled brat’s lives they are going to finally learn the meaning of the word NO because after the dismal results for this holiday season are announced there will be more store and restaurant closures, commercial property defaults and millions of additional lost jobs as corporations continue to cut deeper to the bone with no further vision than the quarterly earnings statement. The corporations who rigged the system to monopolize America are now going to have to deal with something entirely new – a beggared population who can’t afford a pack of fucking ramen noodles let alone the must have junk and gadgetry that all children ages 3 to 70 with an available line of credit have become accustomed to. I really hope that the coming hardship and era of austerity will make better people of the average American (and this starts with the children) ‘consumer’ (I hate that term, it’s so fucking dehumanizing) as they are forced to live within their means and to enjoy the simple things in life. Hell, my grandparents and their generation survived a depression, fought a world war, were civically active and well informed and managed to create the most advanced and wealthy society in modern history before the baby boomers and Generation Reagan fucked it all up.

So you happy hosed Murkans this is it for this morning’s rant and for the rat bastard plague year of 2010 when even the illusion of being fucked with a smile was shattered. HO HO HO and may your holiday be bright.

Just my two cents over the morning cup o’ joe


ps: During a visit to my local Borders on last week’s Citibank sponsored shopping spree I was a bit aghast to see a pyramid built out of hundreds of Glenn Beck’s ghostwritten hunk of asswipe Arguing With Idiots (you know, the one with Dear Leader on the cover in a fucking East German Stasi uniform) along with smaller displays of Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten tome and for good measure another nice display of Glenn Beck’s Christmas Sweater book (a straightjacket would be far more appropriate). Borders and the rest of the retailers should just do the right thing and donate all of that overpriced, moronic drivel to the poor so that they can burn something in their fireplaces for heat this winter. Happy Holidays to All!

Seig Heil Santa and Talking Jesus

In a recent interesting story that I ran across on Der Spiegel Online entitled Is Santa Claus a Nazi? regarding the German public outcry over miniature statues of Old Saint Nick that appeared to be giving the infamous straight armed salute that was a national requirement to show loyalty to the regime during the darkest days of the reign of Adolf Hitler. It was as much a necessity for patriotic citizens as those little flag lapel pins that so adorned the collars and lapels of Republicans seeking to show a similar style of national worship in the run up to the Iraq war and to espouse their undying loyalty to their own strong daddy leader while elevating themselves in their own minds and their groupthink to some sort of superior citizen status. Anyway, for some dark reason I found in this story not only a sardonic humor but also a contrast between two cultures that despite the years separating them have similar characteristics.

According to Der Spiegel:

Christmas shoppers in Germany are horrified. Across the country, models of Santa Claus in shop windows appear to be giving the Nazi salute. Some chains have already removed them from the shelves.

If Santa Claus were to move away from the North Pole to one of the more populated parts of the world, what political party would he support? His “peace on Earth” message might indicate a left-of-center stance. But what about his Big Brother (“He knows when you’ve been sleeping. He knows when you’re awake) tendencies? Sounds a lot like the Republicans in the United States these days.

Or maybe he’s a fascist? That, at least, is what a report in the Thursday issue of the tabloid Bild seems to indicate. Germans shopping for Christmas trinkets have been shocked recently to discover row upon row of Santa Clauses looking to all the world as if they are giving the Hitler salute — right arm, straight as an arrow, raised skyward. Never mind that St. Nick is carrying a bag of toys and wearing a silly red hat complete with a white pom-pom. Shoppers were sure — these Santas were Nazis.

You just have to love that line about Republicans, one thing about Germans is that they can smell a fascist movement across an ocean. So intense has been the damnation of history that for millions the first image that pops into their minds whenever even hearing the word ‘Germany’ is of course Hitler so it is only logical that any sort of reminder of the ghastly past be managed lest it provide a spark that could potentially fuel the Neo-Nazi movement that exists in the shadows of Europe and which would more likely be more akin to Hitler Lite than the real thing but the apprehension of the Germans in not waking sleeping dogs is understandable if not admirable.

fter the initial uproar a country that is far more aware of the dangers of shadowy totalitarian movements than ours the ‘Hitler Santas’ were destroyed. Such a shame, they would have made such nice gifts for the Bushist youth, perhaps a few will still be floating around out on E Bay for that Republican hell child who has everything. Maybe Sean Hannity can even score one for his spoiled little rat bastard to go along with that much obsessed over Playstation 3. I haven’t seen Hannity get so hot over anything other than fisting as the PS3. Especially in his running down of John Edwards for trying to procure one for his own kid, perhaps Sean is yet another of the repressed latent homosexuals who run rampant in the GOP these days and maybe what he really wants is to be fisted by Edwards….but hell, I am not a psychoanalyst but only one who is cognizant to the many studies that find that the most homophobic of all are really raging closet queens projecting their self loathing outward to others.

The destruction of the seig heil Santas shows that the German culture is very cognizant and vigilant of any signs that could lead to the reemergence of the Nazi hate machine that destroyed Europe and murdered millions in it’s black wake. The Germans have a reason to be ashamed of their blood soaked recent history and their transformation into a nation of Der Fuhrer’s hateful automatons and while it may seem trivial to outsiders that Germans see a threat of the reemergence of the cult of Nazism that always lurks beneath the surface in something as seemingly harmless as the Santa statues it nonetheless illustrates the fear of a people who have seen the horrors of unaccountable mass movements. Americans should pay heed to this and draw their own conclusions regarding the revisionist history behind the Christian Reconstructionism movement as well as the white supremacy and hatred of Hispanics and fear of Muslims that breeds like virulent germs in petri dishes and is preached by the vilest of Republican demagogues and the propagandists on hate radio.

Much weeping and gnashing of the teeth accompanied the recent news that the Marine Reserves Toys For Tots Christmas toy drive turned down the donation of 4,000 talking Jesus dolls because of GASP religious sensitivity towards potentially sending the doll to a non-Christian child. The very concept that true Americans would be anything BUT Christian is a widely held view in post 9/11 Amerika and the rejection of the dolls created a firestorm of biblical proportions that led to the Toys For Tots program caving in and reversing of the initial decision after the likely deluge of activists and operatives engaging in the standard economic terrorism in the form of targeted boycotts and harassment. The entire Jesus Doll imbroglio smacks of the religious totalitarianism that at least in my opinion is potentially every bit as dangerous of German National Socialism in that it distorts religion to use as a control mechanism, a bludgeon and a cloak of legitimacy for marginal views and holds millions in its sway.

The bible (already a controversial book as far as its historical accuracy due to hundreds of years of revisions and reinterpretations) is cherry picked by theocratic minded scholars and policy makers and every chapter and verse has the potential for spin. For example I once was sent a ‘bible’ that had nifty little explanations next to every admonition of Christ towards the evils of wealth, power and his damned liberal insistence of caring for the poor and downtrodden, the one that sticks out to me was the ludicrous explanation that Jesus’ warning that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven was reinterpreted to mean that the so called ‘eye of the needle’ was local slang for the narrow gate to Jerusalem.

The Jesus industry thrives in America despite the transformation of the prince of peace into the avenger of Timothy LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins’ multi-million copy selling ‘Left Behind’ series that has in and of itself become a cottage industry with spin offs like versions of the repulsively anti-biblical, ultra-violent pulp trash for children as well as video games that encourage violence. The extreme right indoctrinate their youth to be both ignorant of reality (home schooling) and as most bizarrely revealed in the movie Jesus Camp little warriors for God. The kids are programmed by the cult to the extent that they are even featured in camouflage at some points begging the question of what exactly is the agenda behind such mind control and brainwashing at such an early age and what is the end game especially when considering the militia factor and the Christian aspects of the extreme right.

This is a very long and complex topic that I will explore at some point but not today. For now I would recommend David Byrne’s short essay American Madrassas for good comments on the subject. Incidentally, the particular ‘Kids On Fire’ indoctrination center featured in the movie will be closing due to outrageous on screen behavior such as speaking in tongues, being threatened with damnation and having the children appear to ‘worship’ a cardboard figure of George W. Bush as well as the embarrassment of several scenes with the now disgraced Pastor Ted Haggard who preached fire and brimstone from his Colorado Springs megachurch while snorting meth and having sex with homosexual prostitutes. The center portrayed in Jesus Camp is not the only one either, many similar compounds exist in America but since the operators are predominantly white and ‘Christian’ they merit no scrutiny from the Department Of Homeland Security.

Now as far as the graven image and false idol thing let’s not even go there regarding the controversial Jesus Dolls but I am curious as to what they say and whether it is in fact biblically correct. I suppose that it all depends on which Jesus that you happen to believe in, Jesus of Nazareth or Jesus of George Bush. If it is the latter, also known as Republican Jesus/Left Behind Jesus a pushing of the voice button would likely bring forth the following homilies:
Kill the Queers

Keep On Bombing Brown Babies

Screw the Poor and Downtrodden

Mammon is God

Personally I would rather my kids play ‘Gears Of War’ or any other snuff style ‘shooter’ game, at least they’re up front about the exploitative primal allure of violence and don’t have to conceal it behind flags and crosses.