Category Archives: Campaigns
Like a bad case of genital herpes the Clintons never really completely go away and with the regularity of the rising of the sun the punditry got it all wrong again. The ballots are all in from the New Hampshire primary and the DLC once again has their queen in waiting, the insurgents have been chastened and the myth that this coming election is about change has been put to rest with the ugly truth that it is really about corporatization, globalization, militarism and the building of an impenetrable firewall around the status quo. Oh, and those skeptics who may have questioned my labeling of Barack Obama as a ringer had best give that very simple and ugly possibility some sincere thought. He went down quicker than an altar boy and just like the traditional change agent Democratic party tomato can in the Granite State. Lost in all of the Barack vs. Hillary steel cage death match hyperbole was the largely ignored campaign of John Edwards who may not have Bill or Oprah but he does have a message focused on the unchecked rise of rapacious corporations and looter capitalism gone cancerous and dared to openly speak of the detritus of the undeclared yet ever present class war that has laid waste to the land of plenty.
As for the bloggers who exalted in Obama’s surprise win in Iowa I reference the classic quote of that great philosopher Winston Wolf who warned against irrational and premature exuberance “let’s not all start sucking each other’s dicks just yet” which should immediately be transcribed onto a post it note and should adorn all of their monitors for the foreseeable future. In their haste to coronate the warm and fuzzy Obama and stick the proverbial fork into Hillary’s pasty white ass they momentarily forgot who really runs the show in America and they have all lined up behind Mrs. Rodham-Clinton, and of course there is the matter of Israel and her signature of blood with the Lieberman-Kyl amendment. Coupled with John McCain’s Republican win and his magic Bobbsey twin sweater that according to some of the sort of rumors that populate the darkest corners of cyberspace is likely woven with the hair of blood red heifers and sacrificed goats the neocons scored a double win but more on Manchurian Mac in a little while.
Queen Hillary’s reestablishment of her aura of inevitability was largely helped by her much overblown show of emotion with the most shameless act of fake crying since the unctuous John Boehner last took to the House floor to bray his great choking sobs about supporting the troops so Wall Street flim-flam men could have the freedom to continue their looting spree with like pigs in a rutting frenzy or some other happy horseshit. The mini Gulf of Tonkin ‘provocation’ by Iranian patrol boats also helped to trigger the fear instinct that is always just below the surface in this tragic post 9/11 land of cowardice, torture and wretched dumbness and the assuredness that Rodham-Clinton would dive head first into a scrum for the nuclear launch code “football” before the corks on the Dom Pérignon were popped for the grand inauguration ball for the restoration of the Clinton dynasty was undoubtedly a factor in the minds of voters. The shameless invocation of al Qaeda by the candidate didn’t hurt her either, in fact the with all of the past few days of fear mongering, slander, crocodile tears and blaming the media for her woes you would have to ask yourself whether Rodham-Clinton was running for office as a member of the wrong party. William Kristol’s new co-worker Maureen Dowd of the damned liberal New York Times has a great piece on the resilient future queen and her astoundingly cynical display of ‘emotions’ that went over so well with the great masses of television addicted asses who are easily duped into buying such swill as genuine that is entitled Can Hillary Cry Her Way Back to the White House?
Now of course as far as that party thing goes anybody with any sense who has spent any amount of time doing their homework knows that other than an absolute aberration like the Bushreich there is really not much actual difference between the two parties that have come to be the Coke and Pepsi of the American empire. For proof that that particular idea has existed for quite some time you can find it in the massive and highly important historical tome for those seeking an understanding of how things really work Tragedy And Hope written by Mr. Clinton’s mentor Professor Carroll Quigley:
The argument that the two parties should represent opposed ideals and policies, one, perhaps, of the Right and the other of the Left, is a foolish idea acceptable only to the doctrinaire and academic thinkers. Instead, the two parties should be almost identical, so that the American people can “throw the rascals out” at any election without leading to any profound or extreme shifts in policy.
Big Bubba himself was out running the slime machine with his sniping about “fairy tales” and other cheap shots usually left to the hired help and vampires like James Carville, consider it an act of atonement for having made his spouse suffer through the indignity of a media circus after he was exposed for having his stogie smoked by that fat little thong wearing trollop Monica Lewinsky who lured the big lug in bearing gifts of pizza for tingly altoid juiced blow jobs back in less dangerous times. Some might say that it was below the dignity of a former president to act in such a manner but that is assuming that the big overly horny doofus had any dignity to begin with. Arguably had President William Jefferson Clinton had a little more personal control over his allegedly crooked cock and his ravenous animal craving for pussy or at the very least been a bit more discreet in his sexual dalliances like some of his predecessors had the good sense to do then the perfect storm conditions that led to the stealing of the 2000 election in Florida and the subsequent neocon coup d’etat and implementation of the fascist police state might never have occurred.
The hysteria and hostility towards Bill Clinton largely was responsible for Al Gore’s selection of Judas Lieberman as a running mate instead of Florida’s Bob Graham who would have had the necessary local connections to head off Jeb Bush’s vote stealing bandits at the pass. Now after two rigged elections we have an economy in shambles, no habeas corpus, a torture mad segment of the population brainwashed by the FOX TV Nazi Jack Bauer along with what Gore Vidal called “perpetual war for perpetual peace”, a constant state of dumbness, fear and loathing, a financial system that is a rapidly collapsing house of cards and millions of people who are coming to a slow rolling boil and who thanks to Jane Harman and Lieberman will soon be labelled as domestic terrorists. A hell of a price to pay for some sleazy afternoon sex and the strongest argument in favor of the merits of masturbation that one could possibly conceive of.
As for Senator McCain we have seen this movie before and were I one millionaire named Willard Romney I would right now be on the phone to Karl Rove offering up a seven figure retainer and first class tickets to Charleston where he can work roll out his sleazy dark gris-gris about Negro children born out of wedlock, drug addictions and insanity to keep the possibility of a McCain-Lieberman ticket trapped in the wet dreams of the war pigs at the American Enterprise Institute. If there is one saving grace in the detestable McCain’s win it is that we can all stop hearing about Elmer Gantry Huckabee and his Evangelical army for a little awhile it was beginning to wear a bit thin just like the ascendant Obama and his motivating of the slacker generation to get off of their lazy apathetic asses and vote for a change storyline.
The biggest winner last night in New Hampshire was the establishment itself for once again the two front runners had been restored to their proper places, the ringer did his job and the true agents of change John Edwards, Dennis Kucinich and the questioners of the existing order Ron Paul and Mike Gravel will now be slowly erased from the collective memory by the pocket media kingmakers. After the next set of primaries later this month in the heart of peckerwood nation, South Carolina and the Republicans will descend upon the diseased penis of America that is the state of Florida where the American Il Duce Rudolpho Giuliani has been barnstorming and preaching the gospel of 9/11 and skipping while treating the early states with the same significance that he gave to the Iraq Study Group. Then it will be on to Super Tuesday where two days after that grand American bacchanal The Super Bowl where the entire nation is transfixed by a typically lousy football game wedged in between multi-million dollar advertisements the still hung over denizens of the world’s biggest lemming farm will eagerly look to the big political enchilada of 24 state primaries that could potentially crown the new world champion of the empire of greed and blood and the inheritor of the keys to the war machine and the money spigots that fuel the spoils system that our national politics have become.
Ahhh fuck it, is it time for the new season of American Idol yet?