Category Archives: Republican War On America
The traveling cavalcade of clowns that is the Republican primary season kicks off with the Iowa caucuses this week. As if that haven of corn-fed schmucks is representative of the nation as a whole yet in our sham of a political system this somehow passes for a legitimate process. The entire gaggle of swine have been working the hustings and to add further insult the next step to the coronation of their prospective Führer the equally unrepresentative state of New Hampshire is next. This is serious corn pone along the lines of cheesy 1960’s sitcom Green Acres with all of the hayseeds like the Kimballs and the Haneys rolling into town in their Sunday finery to cast their lot with the one seriously deranged GOP jackass that truly represents them. I do find that Newton Leroy Gingrich has more than a passing resemblance to Arnold Ziffel. Iowans are just more refined versions of the red state fascist peckerwoods down yonder behind the cornbread curtain, hicks and rubes are hicks rubes no matter what neck of the woods that they may hail from.
Now I am sure that Iowa is a nice place and there is much to see and do there (ha ha ha), thanks to deranged Republican candidate Michelle Bachmann it was pointed out that notorious serial murderer John Wayne Gacy began his illicit activities in Waterloo, a neighbor to Cedar Falls. Famous Iowans include Marion Morrison (the other John Wayne), Herbert Hoover (how apropos), Johnny Carson, Buffalo Bill and a true American hero in former FDR Vice President Henry A. Wallace who certainly knew a fascist when he saw one and must be rolling over in his grave over the GOP invasion. Other famous Iowans resonate greatly with the one true demographic that the Republicans routinely target, the geriatric Fox News viewers whose Cold War and anti-hippie, homophobic and predominantly white worldview easily accommodates such nonsensical horseshit as the Obama is a secret commie Muslim scam. Get a load of some of these names and see if you can find any sort of discernible pattern here:
William Frawley: Fred Mertz of I Love Lucy
Ann Landers: Professional gossip monger
Cloris Leachman: TV actress
Glenn Miller: Big band maestro
Harriet Nelson: THE Harriet from The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet
Donna Reed: Star of The Donna Reed Show
Andy Williams: Legendary crooner (once sang with Bing Crosby)
According to the 2010 Census Iowa is a whopping 91 percent white, 14.9 percent over 65 years of age and at with a population that is just a tad above 3 million represents less than one percent of the population of the nation as a whole. To sum it all up it is idiotic for the corporate media and the thoroughly corrupt political establishment to tout Iowa as some great representation of the entire United States. As Abe Lincoln once famously remarked:
“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”
It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that it’s one hell of a lot easier to fool a very small, predominately white and chock a block with famous 1950s-1960s television icons as the greatest former residents slice of the demographic pie like the cornshuckers in the Hawkeye State than the more sophisticated city slickers who have a better knack at spotting flim flam men. So the legend of Iowa as the great American weathervane ranks right up there with all of the other big lies of our times like the phony war on terror, the greatness of the American capitalist system and Tim Tebow as a legitimate starting NFL quarterback (he isn’t fit to carry the jockstrap of former Iowan Kurt Warner, himself a Jesus freak albeit a more humble one) and the increasingly creeping fascist police state apparatus as some sort of benevolent protector. Iowa brings to mind the great and underrated movie Pleasantville where the black and white 1950’s style of television show utopia is forever changed by two modern day teenagers who have been magically teleported into a sitcom by a TV repairman/ sorcerer played by Don Knotts and proceed to change the place for the better.
Pleasantville is a perfect metaphor for the conservative nonsense that is peddled by the traveling shit salespeople of the Republican party, their entire schtick falls apart if they can’t sell their silly non-reality based nostalgic gimmickry harkening back to a simpler and more moral time. The kids in the movie turn the black and white naivete and innocence into a stunning world of color and the hated nuance by introducing art, sex and non-conformity and rapidly run afoul of the town honchos who unleash the typical conservative reaction of violence, intimidation, hatred and rigged legal proceedings to stop the transformation. The “there are no roads out of Pleasantville” type of mentality that has allowed for the permeation of the poisonous disease carried by the Republicans that has for decades eaten our society from within. The world is a vastly more complicated, rapidly changing and thanks to new technologies interconnected environment and the changes represent a mortal threat to the white picket fence style of Americana that was mainlined into the consciousness of generations thanks to television, the most potent drug of them all. The Republicans are able to tap into this Pleasantville mind warp and to blame all of the real perceived evils of those chaotic decades of the 1960s and 1970s on those who would choose to live in a world of color and nuance rather than be mired like dinosaurs in a black and white tarpit, braying and keening as they are sucked under. The civil rights movement, equal rights for women, the Vietnam war, sexual liberation, Watergate, the hippies and drugs and rock and roll music really put a serious mindfucking on a lot of folks and they are desperate to cast their lot with whatever silver-tongued devil riding in on a white horse to rescue them from the savages best appeals to their longing for the past.
Cain wants to hire you for minimum wage with no benefits to deliver pizzas for him…you have to have your own vehicle though, and buy your own gas. If you get robbed/shot Cain will send his best wishes to your family and send someone to retreive your blood-stained uniform to be washed and re-used. Good luck kids!…actually many of the folks delivering pizzas these days are in their 40’s/50’s.
I have now found out what it takes to be hired as a minimum wage ($6.67 per hour in Florida) delivery driver at a Pizza Hut take out, delivery, and carry-out restaurant here in St. Pete. This is one of the smaller restaurants, and it does not even have “dine-in” facilities.
It takes the typical paperwork of filling out a job application, plus the paperwork of confirming one is either a U.S. citizen or qualified to work in the U.S.
But it also takes filling out an 80-question questionnaire.
Additionally, once one is hired, one is shown approximately 2 hours straight of corporate promotional videos on the Pizza Hut restaurants.
If one’s hiring manager is preoccupied with a manager of his own having come from outside the immediate chain to oversee him and ask him questions that day, one will have no training that day.
If one’s hiring manager tells one he will telephone you the next day to confirm he will be in the next day to give one training, and he does not give you that phone call, he simply does not give you that phone call. Then if you show up, and he is not there, he simply is not there.
If he fobs off the training that second day on a subordinate with a thousand different tasks that subordinate is performing, and if you show and the subordinate on whom the training’s fobbed off is put into the situation wherein the thousand different tasks interfere with his being able to adequately train you, you don’t get training and it’s preferred you leave before the end of your shift, so the company will save money on the paltry $6.67 per hour they are paying you; if you leave before the end of your shift that day, you simply don’t get paid.
Additionally, you are to wear black pants. And you are to purchase them yourself. The organization does not purchase them. You do. I purchased two pair, and they cost me $40.00 for the two at a Target.
Additionally, you must wear a certain kind of shoe, and you must purchase them. The organization does not purchase them. You do. I was told they could cost me up to $40.00, and the money would come out of my paycheck.
This is on a paycheck of minimum wage of $6.67 per hour.
Part of your responsibility — and you are told this in the promotional videos — is to “hustle.” They tell you, “hustle” from the restaurant to your car, and “hustle” from your car to the home of the customer who is receiving the delivery.
They also tell you to be careful of crime, because delivery drivers get victimized by criminals. But they also tell you, no firearms are allowed in the restaurant. I had a concealed firearms carrying license, and I did not reveal that to my hiring manager. While I was fully within my legal rights to carry my concealed firearm, since I had a Florida concealed firearms carrying license, the restaurant tells employees in a restaurant that handles cash, and employees who handle cash when they deliver to customers, no firearms. This is sort of like telling a seal to swim glibly and gayly and utterly without a care within an ocean full of great white sharks.
The interesting thing was, when I came for my first day on the job, I was sent to the back of the Pizza Hut restaurant. The hiring manager was there for that day, and he set me up in front of the video player, and had the 5 videos I was to sit and watch for the next several hours in front of me. He informed me that there was originally supposed to have been an orientation of 5 people, not 1 person, but I was the only one who, in his words, “worked out.”
The day previous to that day, I had met him at another restaurant where he was working to answer to his telephone call and he had said on that earlier occasion that I’d so far been the only one who had worked out.
Additionally, they give you a motor vehicle check, if you’re to be a delivery driver. And before hiring you, they check into your driving background. They did that with me, and again, apparently, I was the only one who checked out okay.
Their turnover rate is evidently so high that this sort of thing is conventional and typical with them.
After being there 2 days with no training, spending 40 bucks on two pairs of pants out of my own money, realizing I’d have to spend 40 more on shoes, realizing my car insurance was entirely my responsibility and if any accident I had happened, I could not only lose my job, but end up without car insurance, having had the hiring manager’s time primarily preoccupied the first day on the job by his manager from the outside coming in to check up on him, and then having had the hiring manager promise to call me the second day and confirm and show up the second day to train me, and then not do that, and showing up myself the second day and having the training responsibilities fobbed off by the hiring manager, who managed 82 stores total (this being only one of his stores), on some hapless and luckless subordinate, and being asked an 80-question questionnaire as a precondition to being employed at the sum of money of $6.67 per hour for a job which was apparently not even going to be full-time, I decided this would not work out.
I went to the restaurant the third day, turned in my new “uniform” in the shape of my shirt given me the previous day and my cap given me the previous day, and said, “I’m outta here, I quit.”
The hiring manager was there and he ran after me to stop me, and I yelled back, “You want reliability from your employees, but you’re supposed to be reliable yourself and you weren’t reliable and didn’t show up to train me. I quit.”
I said that loudly as I got into my car and drove away.
Hence ended my 2 shifts, one 4 hours, and one 3.5 hours, with Pizza Hut.
I am 60 years old, and, frankly, I simply could not take it
My point is, I have had my share of tough jobs. But this 2 days at Pizza Hut and the literally evil and horrendous way in which workers were demeaned into being considered nothing but cogs in the machinery of production of profits for the looters, thievers, pillagers, exploiters, and swine at the top of the establishment, and their well-paid agents in the management in the middle, was simply too much for me at 60 to take.
So I simply quit. I could not take it. And this may be my last experiment in trying to get work, because my money’s running out, and if I cannot find work soon, I will be homeless. I will not be homeless, and have already made “alternative plans” to the possibility of homelessness, which some already know of. After watching the City of St. Petersburg City Council and Mayor pass ordinances effectively criminalizing homelessness here in the City of St. Petersburg, I have decided, that if it’s a choice of homelessness or death, I will take death.
Once again exhibiting all of the classic traits of bullies who can always dish it out but can’t take it the fascist right-wing has their star-spangled, cum-stained undies in a wad over a new video game. The game, rapidly becoming an online sensation is called Tea Party Zombies Must Die and Republicans, especially the payroll demagogues over at Rupert Murdoch’s sewer of disinformation are just outraged that anyone would have the gall to do something like this. The game, a first person shooter along the lines of many of the ultra-violent video slaughterfests that have made millions of dollars has a nice twist in that players can actually go medieval on media figures the likes of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and Mike Huckabee. The game also features drop dead hysterical zombie versions of Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann (sans horsecock sized corndog embedded in mouth), Newt Gingrich and several variations of the Koch Brothers. Also included are zombie versions of figures typical of the miscreants of society that comprise the Tea Party such as a “pissed off stupid white trash redneck birther zombie” and “generic pissed off old white guy zombie”. Like any good shooter the game takes place in a sci fi style post-apocalyptic landscape where toxicants, likely high grade nuclear waste unleashed from an environmentally hazardous Koch Industries plant. The game has already tighter than a cat’s asshole right-wing sphincters puckering across the fruited plain, note the perpetually whiny Birchers raging against the demon liberal Commies in this cry me a river of crocodile tears post over at New American, the official house organ of the JBS.
Now I personally have the idea that video game violence, just like television and movie violence desensitizes humans to such behavior as well as to teach them that settling arguments with guns is acceptable. American society is saturated with violence and gruesome atrocities occur on a daily basis amongst the inhabitants of our armed to the teeth lemming farm, most recently at a Carson City, Nevada IHOP restaurant. Such acts of abominable violence are now commonplace within our rotting empire and the desensitization of citizens to murder certainly doesn’t hurt the permanent war industry as many shooter games have a military theme. The average American child has witnessed tens of thousands of simulated murders on television before they even hit puberty and the entertainment industry pumps out ever more gruesome and sadistic slasher flicks, upping the ante to the point where the once shocking original Texas Chainsaw Massacre from back in 1974 now seems like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.Violence is ingrained in the American character, hell we may be totally ignorant of history and the epic slaughter that was conducted in order to ‘civilize’ the west by eradicating the Indians as well as in conquering foreign countries to steal their natural resources but that is the way that it is. A recent ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court overturned a California law restricting the sale of violent video games to minors citing the long tradition of violence and that such graphic exhibitions of such are protected under the First Amendment. One of the most fervent defenders of the simulated slaughters was arch-conservative Antonin Scalia and the typical right-winger killer mentality makes the outcry over Tea Party Zombies Must Die just another example of neoconservative hypocrisy.
However, the social danger of desensitization to violence is a story for another time so I digress….
I must admit that I found Tea Party Zombies Must Die to be a hell of a lot of fun when I gave it a test drive yesterday. I was limited on time so I wasn’t able to get to the FOX News studio level where most of the action would be but was able to beat the living fuck out of numerous low level teabagger zombies in a couple of trailer park levels with a crowbar. I did have a pistol but found the crowbar much more satisfying, there are more weapons to be had as with any good shooter game but the sheer primeval instinct in me would really prefer working my way through the studios of the American Der Stürmer with as blunt a tool as possible. It would be nice to slowly peel back zombie Glenn Beck’s rancid and festering scalp with the business end of the crowbar, followed by a chainsaw disembowelment. Upon returning home from work today I decided to go a bit further into the game and was rewarded with a machete or some sort of hacking tool as well as a shotgun. I made it into the FOX studios early levels where I joyously chopped the fuck out of zombie Bill O’Reilly, zombie Sean Hannity, zombie Brit Hume and zombie Rick Santorum like a member of one of Ronald Reagan’s School of Americas trained Contra death squad assassins. I might add that my simulated butchery had the distinction being that I was hacking to bloody chunks video versions of some of the most vile and treasonous anti-American criminals rather than the helpless women and children who were tortured, raped and sliced and diced by the Gipper’s beloved “freedom fighters”.
Next I made my way to the breeding pit for the “Factory Made Blonde Fox News Barbie Who Has Never Had A Problem In Her Life Zombies” where I was overwhelmed by an onslaught of the big-titted bimbos with the thousand yard stare and found myself “teabagged” which is what it is called when one meets their demise in Tea Party Zombies Must Die. I nearly snorted a double Jack and Coke up my nose when the following comments appeared on the screen: “P.S. You didn’t have health insurance so you died” and “P.P.S. There’s no such thing as God so you died for eternity”. I do have one suggestion for the game developer, a firm called StarvingEyesAdvergaming – please release an updated version where the “breeding pit” features a full blown nude lesbian sex orgy with about a dozen “Factory Made Blonde Fox News Barbie Who Has Never Had A Problem In Her Life Zombies” and the zombie Sarah Palin and zombie Michele Bachmann, I would love to see zombie Bachmann in action on the end of a 18 inch vulcanized rubber double-dong dildo like it were an Iowa corndog. By the way, also give StarvingEyesAdvergaming some love, the same sort of prissy liberal idiots who are afraid to get their hair mussed by getting down into the gutters to fight the vermin on their own turf like the rich blowhard Keith Olbermann are aghast at the game. The sharp dressed man, his new gig over at Al Gore’s network likely not as well paying as his MSNBC job is calling for a boycott. It’s funny but I never saw that arrogant loud-mouthed shit come out with the same denunciations of the military industrial complex, the Federal Reserve or the fascists who have used 9/11 as a pretense to strip away ALL of our civil liberties over the past fucking decade. Just fuck Keith Olbermann, I couldn’t agree more with Chris Hedges who has loudly told the truth that Liberals Are Useless. Those gutless, worthless chickenshits would be on the cattle cars being trucked off to the death camps discouraging resistance because “we are better than that”. No we aren’t! It’s fuck or walk time and as history has repeatedly shown only the strong survive, guys like K.O. end up with their heads on pikes being displayed as trophies while those who follow him are rendered into bars of soap and have their skin used for lampshades.
The very idea that the right-wingers, especially the brownshirts of the Tea Party can weep and gnash their pointy teeth over Tea Party Zombies Must Die is as absurd as the idea that Barack Obama, savior of Wall Street is a socialist. These people live for thuggery, threats, violence and in a good many cases outright murder. There is a huge and well-funded network with the U.S. that does nothing but promote the most vile type of anti-Muslim hatred in the hope that it will encourage the stupid fucking white teabaggers to jump on board with the right-wing Israeli atrocity machine. This network was revealed in the fine investigative report by the Center For American Progress entitled Fear Inc. that should be far more bothersome than blowing electronic zombie demagogues into bloody chunks. This network has recently been dragged into the light to be exposed as the cockroaches that they are when Norwegian right-winger Anders Breivik went on a real live shooter style rampage and killed 69 people, mostly teenagers. Breivik was inspired greatly by the same putrid right-wing scum that are exposed so well in Fear Inc.
The hatemongering anti-Muslim network in America is deeply embedded in the Christian Right establishment and the desire to eradicate Muslims will eventually boil over into real violence here in Der Heimat. The coming 2012 election season, combined with the real life anger and frustration caused by a rapidly disintegrating economic and political system is a sweating ammo dump just waiting for a spark to ignite it. A desperate and increasingly controlled by fascist religious fanatics who gravitate to a potential Fuhrer like Rick Perry Republican base is having their buttons pushed on a daily basis by the real life versions of the zombies in the video game. Glenn Beck has already made his pilgrimage to Netanyahu’s Israel and is currently in the process of synching his demagogic lunacy with Pastor John Hagee’s Christians United For Israel. The amount of toxic incitement to violence vomited up by FOX and the anti-American fascist fifth column has already led to isolated incidents as the bitches brew of raw racism and apocalyptic religion bubbles in the cauldron. Just last month a pack of Alabama teenagers determined to go and “fuck with some niggers” beat and murdered a random black man, James Craig Anderson. The progeny of the Pissed Off Stupid White Trash Birther Zombies are many and they are ready to rock and roll very very soon. They are also armed to the teeth and will be serenaded by the Republican fascist party, their false prophet preachers who spew blasphemous hate from their pulpits in order to incite and the FOX News multi-millionaires.
Why the fake outrage and pompous self-righteousness over Tea Party Zombies Must Die? People may start to get ideas and the right-wing swine fear nothing that doesn’t fight back.
Just My Two Cents
With the conservative culture of perpetual victimhood having spent the week raging at the hideous liberal conspiracy behind the Michele Bachmann Newsweek cover photo they should be absolutely delighted with her act of simulated fellatio on a corndog in Iowa. The picture, which could prove to be the Minnesota moonbat’s Michael Dukakis in the tank iconic image is already going viral even as the news about the big win in the land of corn and rubes is being hyped as the latest triumph of the fascist brownshirt Dick Armey of Darkness that is the Tea Party.
Right-wing activists are in full damage control mode today, squealing about “sexism” which has come to be the standard defense against any criticism directed towards Bachmann or her evil twin Sarah Palin. The charges of sexism are absurd coming from a party that has built a movement based on denying women the right to choose what to do with their own bodies. But the right-wing is well known for such hypocrisy and no amount of spin is going to make this delightful and hilarious picture go away. Hell, I nearly pissed in my pants laughing at it when I saw it last night.
The story accompanying the picture is also being decried, a damning look at the idiocy of Republican politics. Take Toby Harnden’s piece for the Daily Telegraph Fried Food and Retail Politics at the Iowa State Fair from which I excerpt the following:
On the eve of the Ames Straw Poll, the Republican candidates made a last push for votes at the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines — a huge spectacle in which cattle, pigs and horses are on display as well as politicians and Iowans queue to for fairground rides and some of the most unhealthy food on the planet (I was going to try the Fried Twinkies but the queue was,alas, too long).
Sarah Palin, who is not on the Straw Poll ballot, made a high-profile appearance, as is her wont every time it seems she’s slipping out of the limelight, and was duly mobbed by the press. “There is still plenty of room for a common sense conservative,” she said, deliberately fuelling yet another round of speculation that she might after all enter the 2012 fray.
Michele Bachmann, Iowa born and the favourite to win the Straw Poll, arrived half an hour late for her slot and then spoke for just over two minutes, saying that Iowans were “going to send the signal” to the rest of America just as they had in 2008. “This is where Barack Obama got his start. This is where he’s going to come to his end, in Iowa.”
she beat a hasty retreat after being aggressively heckled by a young man who shouted that she believed homosexuals were “second-class citizens” and that she should not try to “pray away the gay”.
Driving away on a golf cart with her husband Marcus beside her, Mrs Bachmann stopped to buy a foot-long corn dog — a chicken and beef sausage in deep-fried batter. After applying mustard and allowing Mr Bachmann to take the first bite, she chomped into it with gusto.
Ironically Bachmann has recently been proclaiming that she has been “the tip of the spear”, a declaration that will likely accompany that great corndog photo as it continues to proliferate across the blogosphere.
Just one more example of why the United States of America is now a laughingstock throughout the civilized world.
Despite the trotting out of Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords last Monday night in what has to be the most cynical and shameless bit of political theater since George W. Bush landed on the aircraft carrier, the great debt ceiling crisis was the nadir of the ongoing decline of the Der Homeland. Mrs. Giffords, who was nearly murdered by a deranged little freak at a public appearance in rootin’ tootin’ Tuscon has been reinvented as some sort of icon of hope in the era of Obama’s chump change. The shooting, of which Giffords was only one of victims (the dead included a federal judge and a nine year old girl) grabbed headlines in that the act of wanton murder went down in a Congressional district that Sarah ‘lock and load’ Palin’s PAC just happened to have featured a gun site over in an recent solicitation for money. While Jared Loughner could never definitely be tied to the violent haters that comprise the teabaggers and fascist Republican base (and likely never will be due to his insanity) it was treated by many as a wake up call to the potential for mayhem spurred on by the general climate of anger, hatred and toxicity in American politics.
So it was Gabby Giffords who would provide the necessary human interest cover story for the grand scale, red white and blue, dipped in Tabasco ass-fucking delivered to America by the terrorist Republican party. A terrorist Republican party that has benefited enormously by the cover provided by their repackaged and rebranded Tea Party base, a mass of embittered pasty white folks who have meshed well with the standard collection of American Taliban religious crazies and have been able to wrap their radicalism in a Gadsden flag as some bizarre symbol of revolution against tyranny. A terrorist Republican base that is largely funded by plutocratic, anti-American tax chiselers like the Koch Brothers with their immense activist networks. A terrorist Republican party that is promoted by veteran Republican operative Roger Ailes and and the FOX news propaganda machine as well as tens of thousands of radio stations run by Christian fanatics to reach the haters. A terrorist Republican party that has been fed even more money by the vile pig Karl Rove who was able to escape prison thanks largely to the actions of the nebulous Patrick Fitzgerald to build a super money laundering machine. A terrorist Republican party that effectively has hijacked the entire fucking judicial system but especially the thoroughly polluted Supreme Court courtesy of the RATS (Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas) who forever punched the ticket of American fascism with their landmark Citizen’s United ruling enabling corporations to openly buy elections. A terrorist Republican party that in true fashion, our feckless quisling leader Barack Obama never fails to surrender to.
One can nearly forgive the terrorist Republican party for their blistering hatred of the American public, that is after all what they are all about and despite the cheesecloth thin facade provided by their Tea Party they wear their fascism on their sleeves. What is unforgivable is the ongoing selling out of the country by the detestable rat that is Obama, a man who is rapidly carving out a niche for himself as the worst president in American history. Were Obama to have held office during the critical years of World War II we would all be speaking German today. Other than being a cheese eating surrender monkey the terrorist Republican party have hit the mother load with Obama because their neo-Confederate, racist teabagger shock troops will never relent while there is a Negro in the White House. Obama can capitulate on every demand, accommodate every desire to bust the backs of the middle class by destroying the social safety net and in will NEVER be enough. The bigots will still hate him, they will hate him with a burning white hot incandescence because that is in their blood. The would only be happy were the infidel Obama to be lynched at the fifty-yard line in Lucas Oil Stadium, on national television during the halftime show of Super Bowl XLVI accompanied by a Lee Greenwood-Toby Keith duet.
Obama, is still an enigma to a large degree. His presidency, an endless series of disasters that mount by the minute has in some sort of a sick way made me wistful for Bush and Cheney, at least then I knew who the fucking enemy was. Obama has been so consistently awful that he is either a complete ignoramus or he is in on the con. The fact that he packed his administration with Wall Street insiders and the worst type of recycled Clinton era scum would seem to indicate the latter but perhaps it is even worse. What if Obama reckons himself a transformational type of reformer who is going to co-opt the greatest hits of that old fraud Ronald Reagan and change the entire system into a magical post-partisan land of milk and honey? From Obama’s earliest days and his fawning admiration for the Doris Keans Goodwin book on the presidency of Abraham Lincoln entitled Team of Rivals he seemed to have this wild hair up his ass about ignoring reality and building a new bipartisan coalition in a land that is arguably more divided than what even Lincoln faced. The one great problem with this is that the fascist Republican hydra would sooner see Obama tarred and feathered and then dragged down Pennsylvania Avenue behind a team of Ford F-150s than make peace. That Obama was black only made the reactionary haters and tenth generation racists in the red states hate him even more. I recall that one of the lines of attack on Obama by the fascist right-wing was that he was a disciple of the late great radical Saul Alinsky but this is now as ludicrous as the other attack line that he is a socialist. Alinsky likely wouldn’t piss on Obama were he on fire today due to the Pope of Hope’s history of rolling over without a fight and then giving away more than the original demands to the GOP terrorists.
With this morning’s blessed (and cooked to a fine fricassee) stock markets being watched very closely by the Obama administration, the terrorist Republican party and the financial cartels that own BOTH of them to see how ‘investors’ react to Friday’s surprise Standard and Poor downgrade of the U.S. there is yet another sense of surrealism about. The fix is already in folks, Mr. Obama and his pet Wall Street racketeer insiders Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner will do whatever is necessary to keep the game going – get ready to become really familiar with the word austerity. The American economy will continue to crater – other than the rigged markets that have come to represent the financial health of the nation despite the inconvenient truth that they don’t have dick to do with the real economy. Since the Reagan reign of greed and illusion the swine and vermin on Wall Street have pulled off the big con of convincing the average American schmuck that they have a stake in the markets and the paper dealers have used millions upon millions in advertising and propaganda to get them into the pen for the shearing. The rolling out of 401k retirement plans and other investment vehicles have provided a very nice cover for corporate plunder, the dismantling and offshoring of the American manufacturing base and the ongoing war against labor that has led to the virtual extinction of the traditional company retirement and pension plans that built what was once the strongest middle class on the planet. You can bet that no matter what the opening bell of the DJIA (Dick Jammed In Ass) triggers that the hated big gubmint will be there to bail the bankster bloodsuckers and their stock churners out again. On the backs of already busted out and desperate Americans who are still oblivious to their plight and still for the most part believe in the legitimacy of their corrupted institutions.
The mockery of a “debate” on the debt problem, and it is one hell of a fucking problem is that it has zero basis in reality because it never, ever addresses the primary reason for America’s borrowing – to finance war and more war. This is where the terrorist Republican party and their mouth-breathing pasty white lynch mob will always be in the catbird seat. You see, the angry raised on John Wayne revisionist history dolts love war, especially when they don’t have to fight it and even more so when the war is being wage against the dirty brown skinned devil “a-rabs” or in a previous era “gooks”, they have an insatiable taste for human misery and a list of enemies that will ensure that there will never be a lack of those to wage war upon. The idiot masses are also being conned into buying the brilliant con job of destroying “entitlements” which is the word that has now come to describe Social Security and Medicare, programs that working Americans fucking PAID into for years and are now being cut to fund more war and money shuffling. The just plain mean nimcompoops who fly the Gadsden flag while manning the front lines for the terrorist Republican party are too buttfuck stupid to understand that while they are still waging cultural war against “welfare queens” and other Negroes sucking off of the big gubmint dole that the use of “entitlements’ to now include programs that they themselves benefit from that they have been given the knives to cut their own throats – and their gullibility ensures that they will do just that.
The real problem in this country with money and debt is that the entire “debate” is dishonest, other than the failure to include the costs of waging endless and costly corporate wars the real menace of big gubmint run amok, the post 9/11 national security state is also never addressed. Teabaggers are perfectly down with a high-tech surveillance network unlike anything seen in human history, the state sanctioned molestation of children and bullying of old ladies wearing medical diapers by TSA Nazis and the militarizing of local police departments because after all, if you didn’t do anything wrong why should you be afraid? There also can’t be any form of higher taxation on the rich pigs and chiselers (or to crib from a well known amphetamine gobbling Russian emigre “looters” and “moochers”) who have benefited astronomically from the three decades running class war that kicked off when Dutch Reagan fired those goddamned air traffic controllers. There is a rapidly declining tax base due to rigged laws that allow those who least deserve tax amnesty to avoid paying their fair share, millions of unemployed who can’t participate in the consumer economy and the glue that holds the entire thing together is the big lie that anyone can become rich in America, thanks to our benevolent rich job creators – horseshit! Tax the fuckers until they grow hoarse from squealing and loose the RICO laws on pigs like Grover Fucking Norquist, Karl Rove and the treasonous Koch Brothers.
So as the band plays on and the continues to sink, the rails manned with angry white lumpen Republicans waving their Gadsden flags and cheering while the glorious winners of the looter capitalist class war commandeer the life boats. Never mind the rest of us who are trapped in steerage, already up to our fucking necks in water.
While I remain unconvinced that the ongoing Punch and Judy show over the raising of the national debt ceiling is nothing more but a gambit to destroy Social Security and Medicare, leading to their theft and redirection to the depraved gamblers on Wall Street there is one thing that is certain – the Republican party is a terrorist organization. I have long maintained this very simple truth about this deranged pack of anti-American fascist jackals and their relentless army of neo-confederates, Rapture zombies, teabagger freaks whose blistering hatred for traditional American values is every bit as advanced and savage as their 1930’s German historical counterparts once was. They are looking for the conditions where the system can be damaged to the point where the berserkers can be loosed, goaded on to engage in pogroms and the smorgasbord of scapegoats that are regularly served up by the likes of Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, Glenn Beck and thousands of even more vile although lesser paid instigators until the streets run red with blood. Providing that the debt ceiling “debate” isn’t anything more than another deceptively promoted by a corrupt media shearing of the sheep to keep the Wall Street predators ensconced in their mansions in the Hamptons and partying on their yachts and private jets this may be the time that the shit really does hit the fan.
The phony grass roots Tea Party, a post -Bush re-branding of the most rotten, ignorant and vicious elements of the Republican base conjure up comparisons with the Cambodian Khmer Rouge. So intent are these white skinned crybabies at “getting their country back” from the black man in the WHITE House that they clamor for the destruction of the entire country, as the infamous Vietnam saying goes “we had to destroy the village in order to save it”. While the actual effects of not raising the debt ceiling are unknown other than it would blow a hole in the ongoing Wall Street pillaging it would vastly affect the average American schmuck on a far greater level. Assuredly interest rates would rise which the finance industry shills say would hurt lending, as if these scumbags were in the money lending business anyway with banks and corporations hoarding cash but the trickle down effect would likely be devastating. In our uniquely American brand of fascist country trickle down economics aka cutting taxes for the rich has zero benefit for the working class. But as Bush in his waning months and then OBushma in his first two and a half years such schemes are wonderful little hooks to sell the rubes so that the gambling losses of the big Wall Street banks are socialized through government confiscation of taxpayer dollars is just one more knife in the backs of Boobus Americanus. I am amazed at how, on a weekly basis that prices at the local grocery stores continue to rise, gas prices are on the way back to 4 bucks a gallon again and the GOP pledges to focus on job creation have devolved into the standard treasonous pledges to not raise taxes on wealthy chiselers, keep the gays from getting married and out of the military, Muslim bashing and here in the diseased penis of America otherwise known as Florida – anti-bestiality laws. Not that the latter would be a necessarily bad thing were it to encourage the scumbaggers to not reproduce.
But I digress ….
The fascist Republican party as it exists today in the advanced stages of it’s mutation would be nothing more than an object of mockery were it not for the dregs of society that comprise the party base, the serious haters and jacked up on religion crusaders who are hellbent at destroying America from within. They have very serious ideas about the type of society that they desire and would use every bit of law enforcement power of the very government that they so proclaim to despise in order to ensure that their hated enemies, gays, libruls [sic], feminists, Muslims and assorted other non-white, non-Christians. The blacks can be put back in their place because Christ knows that Obama cannot be allowed to reassemble his ACORN forces to mount an assault to enslave the white race and that would happen save the useful boot licking uncle Toms like Allen West, the savage anti-Muslim bigot Herman Cain and Clarence Thomas. The teabaggers and their religious right brothers in arms though have a particular hatred for intellectualism that borders on sheer fanaticism. As I stated earlier, this sort of hard core focused rage and the need to crush all who do not conform under their jack-boots is as vigorous and as unyielding as that of the Khmer Rouge along with their Year Zero social reform policy.
A came across a very horrifying bit from a 1974 Chicago Tribune account on the Khmer Rouge:
“I was very frightened when I saw the Khmer Rouge [Tea Party] saw off the neck of a civilian [gay, Muslim, liberal etc] with the sharp edge of sugar palm leaves,” said Preap, standing amid a cluster of refugees beside a row of flimsy huts.“They spent three days cutting his head off,” said Preap. “They sawed a little one morning, and then in the evening, and finally the following day in the morning and then in the evening, and finally the following day in the morning and night.“They made the victim stand up while there were cutting in front of hundreds of people living in the Khmer Rouge area. Then they held him up when he could stand no longer.”The episode was not just an isolated case but one of many I heard during visits to refugee camps. Khmer Rouge soldiers also have used the knife-like edges of sugar palm leaves to lop off the heads of Cambodian officers captured while overrunning nearby towns and military installations.“They want the victims to suffer more and to serve as examples for people,” said one informant. “They denounce them as traitors before the crowd.”
“I had to join the Khmer Rouge army or they would have killed me,” said Preap. “Those who refuse to serve they send to their deaths. They walk thru villages telling the people to follow them, and the people must obey.”
When the shit does inevitably hit the fan, exactly what the fascist Republican party wants, these will be the enforcers to hunt down dissenters to the privatization of all that remains, the roads already paid for by the taxpayer will be sold to corporations and plutocrats and the tolls will be crippling to those who travel upon them. Public water systems will be hijacked by profiteers and as in Bolivia, the collection of rainwater will become against the law, the populace has already been largely converted into a nation of rats and snitches courtesy of the fear mongering after 9/11 and if you are found in violation you will be subject to having a pack of foaming at the mouth lunatics wearing tri-corner hats, Captain America costumes and waving Gadsden flags show up at your door to cart you off to the public head-sawing. This makes for one hell of a hedge for the oligarchy and their Republican stooges. And this is exactly why I have recommended that progressives start very seriously rethinking their non-violent tendencies, the street thugs will be the first to be unleashed when the whole thing implodes for the regular folks and a failure to be ready to organize and to respond appropriately will only result in your own heads becoming trophies upon the pyramids of human skulls that they will so enjoy building as a tribute to their fascist leaders.
And, now, they’re coming for your Social Security. They want your fucking retirement money. They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all, sooner or later, because they own this fucking place. It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it. You and I are not in the big club.”
The American fascists are most easily recognized by their deliberate perversion of truth and fact. Their newspapers and propaganda carefully cultivate every fissure of disunity, every crack in the common front against fascism. They use every opportunity to impugn democracy. They use isolationism as a slogan to conceal their own selfish imperialism. They cultivate hate and distrust of both Britain and Russia. They claim to be super-patriots, but they would destroy every liberty guaranteed by the Constitution. They demand free enterprise, but are the spokesmen for monopoly and vested interest. Their final objective toward which all their deceit is directed is to capture political power so that, using the power of the state and the power of the market simultaneously, they may keep the common man in eternal subjection.
“If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them.”
Bear in mind that in conflict you are in almost all occasions confronting an opponent who is determined to win as you should be. This opponent is looking for any sign of weakness on your part, and will be certain to exploit this weakness with as much decisiveness and ferocity that can be brought to bear. If you are not prepared to confront such an opponent, then don’t enter the field of battle. Conflict is not for the faint of heart. In conflict you must be prepared to knock your opponent down, and then, instead of offering a helping hand, hold your opponent down with the heel of your foot while you plunge a bayonet into his or her heart. You can be assured that your opponent would do the same to you.
The American progressive movement has not always been this devoid of leadership and structure. One only need to study the life and achievements of Saul Alinsky, a Chicago-based former criminologist who revolutionized the grassroots movements of the 1950s and 1960s into genuine political movements possessing real political power.
Simply put, if the antiwar/peace and justice movement can attract more people to its cause than their opponents can to theirs, then the antiwar/peace and justice movement will emerge victorious. Therefore, a governing principle when waging peace is to creadt an ideological foundation that is capable of appealing to the broadest possible segment of a given democratic society.
If his advice is taken then what will emerge will be a diverse coalition of interests who now finally understand that the system as it exists is run by global criminals who have no loyalty to America and actively have attacked everything that was great about her while usurping our democracy and undermining our freedoms and economic prowess. Wall Street looters and industrialists have always hated America because there was a system of governance here that afforded rights to all people and not only those with money. It has been a long time coming and the time to act is yesterday.
You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.
“The main problem in any democracy is that crowd-pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage & whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy – then go back to the office & sell every one of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece. Probably the rarest form of life in American politics is the man who can turn on a crowd & still keep his head straight – assuming it was straight in the first place.”
– Hunter S. Thompson
You have to hand it to the Republicans, they are consistent. With the national media fervor over the demented theocratic shrew from Minnesota Michele Bachmann still blazing, they are already leaping like fleas from one rabid dog to another. Not that this should be any surprise but the buzz is starting over the newest “rock star” (Christ, what an unoriginal term coined by a lazy pack of mental masturbators) which would be one Marco Rubio of Florida, Jeb Bush’s very own protege. Now Rubio, a greasy little operator with a Tony Montana staccato as well as a Ricky Ricardo pompadour certainly has zero national experience but his place as potential Vice President on whichever assclown emerges from the GOP primary scrum would be Karl Rove’s wet dream in that the fascist Republicans would be banking on his appeal to a Hispanic demographic. This certainly shows that they are now reduced to smelling their own piss given the party’s heavily reliance on anti-Hispanic (eg: illegal alien bashing) demagoguery which feeds the berserkers of the base which has been re-branded as the “Tea Party” in an immensely successful effort spearheaded by FOX, the Wall Street Journal and the Koch Brothers network of think tanks. The problem is not with Rubio’s lack of experience, one Barack Obama was transformed from a junior Senator from a corrupt cesspool of a state into our current reality TV president but it is insanity to think that such a diverse candidate would sell to a party with a central tenet of fighting against diversity. The scumbaggers certainly won’t swallow a potential ticket of a Mormon AND a Hispanic and certainly not in 2012 which is going to resemble a Julius Steicher-Joseph Goebbels style blast furnace of hatred aimed at gays, Muslims and especially undocumented immigrants (the preferred term for the political correctness Nazis).
Despite the rancid state of the American economy Obama is not going to be beaten solely on the basis of lost jobs despite his administration’s shaking down of the taxpayer to funnel money by the billions into Wall Street gambling casinos because other than a complete sap who is really going to trust the fucking Republicans on fixing the economy? Tax cuts for the rich chiselers and rapacious corporate swindlers are now in reality thoroughly discredited, only being kept alive by the ongoing hammering of the talking points in their bought and paid for media and only affects those who still like tortoises with their heads inside of the shell mainly get their McNews fed to them in bite-sized chunks by said media. Now I certainly am suspicious that the GOP and big business are deliberately sabotaging the economy in order to beat Obama (something that in any real land that respects the rule of law would have the bastards brought up on charges of treason) but when their leaders are guys like Eric Cantor, the conniving little shit whose ambition is only exceeded by his greed and poor judgment is actively shorting the U.S. bond market to profit personally from a default as well as a couple of career hacks like John Boehner and Mitch McConnell they aren’t fooling anybody despite their ‘my dick is longer than your dick’ game that they are playing with OBushma over the debt ceiling.
The GOP’s only winning hand in 2012 is to go all in with the same racism, gay baiting, pandering to low I.Q. peckerwoods with religious nonsense and braying about Sharia Law that have been their bread and butter. The vaunted Supreme Court along with the R-A-T-S (Roberts-Alito-Thomas-Scalia) have in their ongoing politicizing of the judiciary decided to make gay marriage an issue nest year which only panders to the same type of mouth-breathers whose credulousness and misdirected anger over their fucked and pathetic lives have already enabled the looters who have destroyed America from within. Now that their beloved 9/11 talisman has been stolen from them with Obama’s taking out of the bad ass bogeyman Osama bin Laden look for the racist lies delivered by the billions of dollars that the Koch Brothers and their ilk toss into the electronic cesspool to be overwhelming. It’s the ONLY way that they can possibly win back the WHITE House with the woeful slate of candidates that they are fielding. Which is why Marco Rubio as a difference maker is so absurd.
Recently stories in the St. Petersburg Times and other Florida papers have focused on the growing angst within the lunatic fringe, racist, know-nothing pseudo movement formally known as the Tea Party towards their one time savior Rubio. To say that the honeymoon is just about over would greatly understate the truth in that the ideological purists of the American Khmer Rouge may just be starting to catch on that they were played by Jeb Bush’s little understudy from Miami. The Tea Party which is really just a spiffy way of referring to the hard core haters and neo-Confederate Jesus juicers of a Republican base post the toxic George W. Bush name has a serious Year Zero style plan for a grand American right-wing social engineering project that anything but a cult like devotion towards seeing through will quickly be discarded and kicked out of the club. You see, taking their country back has always been all about destroying the social safety net, ridding the land of their hated enemies including liberals, gays, successful Hispanics and Blacks with any sort of power who aren’t toadies for the GOP, for example a glorified lawn jockey like Allen West or Herman Cain. The scumbaggers also want to strip women of privacy rights, round up and intern Muslims and while they bask in the glory of their political power to destroy they also eagerly enable the oligarchs and billionaire tax cheats like the Koch Brothers to destroy the regulatory structure and profit obscenely at the expense of the working class.
Seems like the Gadsden flag-sucking berserkers are getting a bit restive with their pet Hispanic Rubio, his stance on immigration is a bit too liberal for the disciples of Sheriff Joe Arpaio and they are demanding action from the son of Cuban immigrants, the same type of people that the Palinazis have no tolerance for. You have to admit that watching Rubio do the Mexican Hat Dance on this issue is a thing of beauty at least for those like myself who have always recognized that Dirty Marco despite his Tony Montana staccato was nothing but an opportunistic fraud. Unlike Governor Skeletor Marco Rubio isn’t an ideologue nor a pathological criminal. Rubio in a way is much worse, he is a low rent conniving charlatan with zero scruples who saw an opening and rode a wave of visceral hatred and racism courtesy of the GOP co-opted teabaggers to a Senate seat. Rubio is shifty, sneaky and as slick as Florida Koch Whore Governor PRick Scott’s slime trail but he isn’t a lunatic. It’s going to be fun watching him try to triangulate Clinton style to satisfy the beasts of the tea party as they bray for shovels of bloody meat. I personally think that Dirty Marco is just laying in the weeds like a hungry little animal watching Governor Skeletor destroy Florida so when the time comes he can sweep into Tallahassee and be seen as a savior.This may not be possible now as he betrays the useful idiots whose racism he relied on to slither his way into a U.S. Senate seat…and he is going to appeal to enough of these freaks nationally?
All of the angry racist northern transplant fatties sucking off the government dole in the Villages of Sumter or Tea Party Central have been crapping their star spangled Grampers now that their little pet isn’t quite the race baiting demagogue that he portrayed himself as. Though luck to the bluehairs living up in Copland, despite their deep seated bigotry you all put up with Ricky Ricardo as long as he sang and danced your tune (perhaps a Salsa version of the Horst Wessel Song) but once he is no longer the pocket Cuban they turn on him like the bitter old relics of a society long gone but one that they are dug in like Alabama ticks to try to restore. Yes indeed the haters so wanted a man like Dirty Marco who represented CHANGE, the teabaggers were going to transform the system and were mesmerized by the siren song of careerists like Rubio. The dumb bastards in the Tea Party are barely smart enough to change their underwear, accepting an insider like Rubio and expecting anything less than being sold down the river is evidence of their gullibility. Sure they will give Marco hell for anything less than supporting a total roundup and deportation of undocumented immigrants, building a fifty foot electric fence along the boarder along with an alligator infested moat, mining the harbors and gassing those who dare to come back.
Tough luck you schmucks you been had – welcome to Chumpland!.
Just my two cents over the morning cup o’ joe
In one of those classic political gaffes, on the day of the media adulation that circled America’s next great heroine like fecal particles going down a swirling toilet, Michele Marie Bachmann invoked the beloved John Wayne while working the rubes in Iowa. Gushing to one of the Roger Ailes minions of the fascist FOX Republican propaganda machine, Batsy cooed that “That’s the kind of spirit I have, too”. The problem was that she was referencing not “The Duke” as in America’s favorite fake cowboy but the notorious fiend John Wayne Gacy who was from Waterloo where the new and improved version of Sarah Palin was giving her stump speech.
While outwardly ‘normal’ by day, Gacy had a serious jones for drugs, booze, gay sex and sado-masochism more often than not ending up in his cold blooded murdering of one of his victims. As the late actor Lon Chaney once remarked, “there is nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight” and by the time that the police had done their work there were nearly three dozen bodies that were dug up on Gacy’s property. He became notorious not only for his perversion and cruelty but that he was able to keep it so successfully hidden, like Adolf Eichmann John Wayne Gacy was the epitome of the banality of evil. I see a lot of this in today’s slow boiling denizens of a decomposing society, there is some serious anger, pent up sexual demons and seething vengeance locked up behind closed doors in suburbia, and a centralized artery of electronic hatred and raw fantasy via cable and satellite television is piped into each and every one of those homes where there are tens of thousands if not millions of less ostentatious versions of John Wayne Gacy, coiled like rattlesnakes and ready to spring like jacks in the box whenever the tipping point is finally reached. With the full blown assault on the black man in the WHITE House fueling so much of the economic and societal misery, the Republican party, it’s fanatic Christian fascist component which Bachmann represents and those who know with icy certainty exactly which buttons need to be pushed in order to elicit the desired response from what are really nothing more than lab rats the reckoning could be in the very near future. These diseased swine have as much regard for the rule of order and stability as Michele Bachmann has for the truth and like Gacy, they have a serious ax to grind.
Then there is that thing about the despised and demonized religious minority, Bachmann carries within her like the gestating Alien the seeds of an anti-Muslim fury so profound and intense that once it is loosed it will roar across this land like an atomic shock wave. Look for the real ugliness to begin once the big lie of Sharia Law and the war against southern fried American Cristendom becomes integrated with her message. With the economy continuing to be squeezed to screaming by Republican fascists who are hellbent on upping the pain and rubbing the sores raw in order to regain control of the spoils system the real holy war is rapidly drawing near.
Just my two cents over the mornin’ cup of joe
Bachmann is a religious zealot whose brain is a raging electrical storm of divine visions and paranoid delusions. She believes that the Chinese are plotting to replace the dollar bill, that light bulbs are killing our dogs and cats, and that God personally chose her to become both an IRS attorney who would spend years hounding taxpayers and a raging anti-tax Tea Party crusader against big government. She kicked off her unofficial presidential campaign in New Hampshire, by mistakenly declaring it the birthplace of the American Revolution. “It’s your state that fired the shot that was heard around the world!” she gushed. “You are the state of Lexington and Concord, you started the battle for liberty right here in your backyard.”I said lunch, not launch! But don’t laugh. Don’t do it. And don’t look her in the eyes; don’t let her smile at you. Michele Bachmann, when she turns her head toward the cameras and brandishes her pearls and her ageless, unblemished neckline and her perfect suburban orthodontics in an attempt to reassure the unbeliever of her non-threateningness, is one of the scariest sights in the entire American cultural tableau. She’s trying to look like June Cleaver, but she actually looks like the T2 skeleton posing for a passport photo. You will want to laugh, but don’t, because the secret of Bachmann’s success is that every time you laugh at her, she gets stronger.In modern American politics, being the right kind of ignorant and entertainingly crazy is like having a big right hand in boxing; you’ve always got a puncher’s chance. And Bachmann is exactly the right kind of completely batshit crazy. Not medically crazy, not talking-to-herself-on-the-subway crazy, but grandiose crazy, late-stage Kim Jong-Il crazy — crazy in the sense that she’s living completely inside her own mind, frenetically pacing the hallways of a vast sand castle she’s built in there, unable to meaningfully communicate with the human beings on the other side of the moat, who are all presumed to be enemies.
Bachmann’s obsession with gay culture led her to bizarre behavioral extremes. In April 2005, after the State Senate refused to even vote on her constitutional amendment, she hid in the bushes outside the State Capitol during a gay-rights rally. A photo shows Bachmann, only the top of her Stepford head visible, crouched alone in an extreme catcher’s squat behind the Capitol shrubbery. She later insisted she wasn’t hiding at all, but resting because her heels hurt.That same year tensions between Bachmann and some gay activists grew heated during a town-hall meeting she attended. Depending on whom you believe — and by that I mean which of Bachmann’s own competing versions of the story you believe — Bachmann either left the meeting to avoid the activists, or excused herself to “use the restroom” only to be “held against her will” there by what may or may not have been a pair of angry lesbians. She reported the incident to the Washington County sheriff: “Sen. Bachman [sic] stated that when she was trying to leave, 2 women blocked her in and told her they wanted to continue talking. Sen. Bachman stated she was afraid and screamed for help. The 2 women let her leave the restroom when she screamed.”Images of Michele Bachmann squatting behind a bush or hiding from lesbians in a bathroom would seem to be punch lines of funny stories, but they are not. The real punch line is that rather than destroying her politically, these incidents helped propel her into Congress. In her first two races, in 2006 and 2008, she defeated experienced, credible opponents who failed to realize what they were dealing with until it was too late. Her 2006 win was an especially extraordinary testament to her electoral viability. In a terrible year for conservatives, with the death-spiraling Bush administration taking Republican seats down with them all over the country, Bachmann won a fairly independent district by an eight-point margin. In her runs for Congress, Bachmann discovered — or perhaps it is more accurate to say we all discovered — that a total absence of legislative accomplishment and a complete inability to tell the truth or even to identify objective reality are no longer hindrances to higher office.Emboldened by the lack of consequences for her early freakouts, Bachmann’s self-mythologizing became more and more overt. In October 2006, she stepped before a packed house at the Living Word Christian Center in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, and told her life story. All of history’s great madmen have had that one gorgeous moment where the cackling hairy hunchback that has been gestating within for years finally comes out and shows itself, strutting up and down the catwalk for the world to see. This was Michele’s catwalk moment, a lengthy autobiographical speech in which she claimed “callings” from God had pushed her to every major decision in her life — from studying tax law to running for Congress. She even told the congregation that she and hubby Marcus — who by then had opened a Christian counseling center — had been united not by love but by a unique series of divine visions experienced by three people simultaneously.Bachmann claimed that back in her college days, she was up one night praying with a female friend of hers when “the Lord gave each one of us the same, exact vision… It was a picture of me, marrying this man, in the valley where his parents have a farm in western Wisconsin.” Meanwhile, miles away, Marcus “was repairing a fence on the farm where he worked, and the Lord showed him in a vision that he was supposed to marry me.” According to Bachmann, Marcus initially complained to God that he wanted to see the world first, and only later relented.Snickering readers in New York or Los Angeles might be tempted by all of this to conclude that Bachmann is uniquely crazy. But in fact, such tales by Bachmann work precisely because there are a great many people in America just like Bachmann, people who believe that God tells them what condiments to put on their hamburgers, who can’t tell the difference between Soviet Communism and a Stafford loan, but can certainly tell the difference between being mocked and being taken seriously. When you laugh at Michele Bachmann for going on MSNBC and blurting out that the moon is made of red communist cheese, these people don’t learn that she is wrong. What they learn is that you’re a dick, that they hate you more than ever, and that they’re even more determined now to support anyone who promises not to laugh at their own visions and fantasies.Bachmann is the champion of those tens of millions of Americans who have read and enjoyed the Left Behind books, the apocalyptic works of Christian fiction that posit an elaborate fantasy in which all the true believers are whisked off to heaven with a puff of smoke at the outset of Armageddon. Here on Earth, meanwhile, the guilty are bent to the will of a marauding Satan who appears at first in the guise of a smooth-talking, handsome, educated, pro-government, superficially pacifist, internationalist politician named Nicolae Carpathia — basically, Barack Obama. Bachmann has ties to the Left Behind crowd and has even said that Beverly LaHaye, wife of LB co-author and fundamentalist godfather Tim LaHaye, was her inspiration for entering politics.
Taibbi, let us not forget, works for a publication, sold at many mainstream outlets, which has featured entertainers like Lady Gaga, John Lennon, and the cast of True Blood, in the nude, on its covers. To boot, HBO’s True Blood cast was covered in blood. But it’s a scandal-free constitutional lawyer and junior member of Congress, not the publisher of Rolling Stone (who is estranged from his wife and now has a boyfriend) who is certifiable. Go figure.Too busy mocking her Christian views and scribbling biased, frantic post-modern prose, Taibbi also didn’t bother to check how Bachmann’s voting record lined up with constitutional government.
Please allow me: Gun Owners of America gave her a grade of “A.” NumbersUSA, an immigration enforcement organization, also gave her a grade of “A.” Her score with the American Conservative Union is “100.” Citizens Against Government Waste recently declared her a “Taxpayer Hero.” She supports defunding Planned Parenthood, and supported the interests of the National Right to Life Committee one hundred percent of the time. Her cumulative score on the Freedom Index, for the 111th Congress, is 88 percent.