Category Archives: Black Friday

DOOR BUSTERS!

All you zombies hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin’ in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you

(Editor’s note – this piece was delayed from Friday due to a series of bizarre circumstances including the author having a bout with a particularly nasty strain of some sort of gastrointestinal virus…or perhaps too much sweet potato pie and deviled eggs)
It is the last hurrah before the economic catastrophe, thanks to the Obama bankster rescue and the multi-billion dollar propaganda blitz it has been coitus interruptus for the grand scale fucking that began with last fall’s collapse of capitalism. Better get it while the getting’s good folks, I would implore all Americans who are receiving those nice little interest rate gouging notices from the bloodsucking vampires like Chase, HSBC, Citi and the rest of those high fallutin whorehouses that will allow one to keep the generous 19 % interest rate being charged if they voluntarily opt out and close their accounts or else face 30 % and higher usury level rates to just go ahead and max those fuckers this holiday shopping season. Get everything that you want and then opt out and stiff the motherfuckers in 2010 when the blessed market illusions can no longer be maintained. The shit is on a collision course with the whirring blades and yes my friends, the fan is on high. The pre-Thanksgiving ‘shock’ of the Dubai World debt default was a nice big turd in the holiday punchbowl for the greedheads and more definitive proof that we are all still fucked and the next shockwave is coming soon.

Anyway, Ed Encho has received those dirty little notices from his own credit cards and has been in the process of spending like a drunken sailor on the first Friday in a new port. Not that I am one to hit the doorbuster sales, especially after last year’s bloody Black Friday Wal Mart mosh pit, quite honestly I don’t care about the deals nor the unwashed rabble who will be engaged in mortal combat in the aisles like something out of that $12.99 Braveheart Blu Ray. My mind is made up that all of the shit’s going to end up in bankruptcy court next year anyway (at least in my case) so it’s time to finish building the library, upgrade all of the electronics and lay in enough non-perishable goods, bullets and whiskey for the perfect storm (to borrow a term from the lovely and effervescent Diane G.) that is about to make landfall. I have no intention of paying those rancid cocksuckers (other than the ones who were honest and honored their end of the bargain who I will pay – hint – none of them got the Obama and Bush billions) nor should anyone else, fuck them, I piss down their throats. The joke’s on us folks, meet the new boss same as the old boss and the pigs won again…..at least for now.

Other than the stampede on Black Friday with the Door Buster deep discounts the holiday shopping season is going to be bleak indeed. When people are living hand to mouth (IF they have an income) they are not likely to spend their money on XBoxes, Blu Ray players or whatever silly toy of the year happens to be the big fad, other than Call of Duty Modern Warfare which is being hyped to no end and will program future killers for endless wars of imperialism. Nope, it’s gonna be a lean Xmas for maxed out Murkans, the credit cards are being cut off and it’s coming down to heat or eat with the cold weather bearing down. As always though the forced austerity doesn’t extend to Goldman Sachs who will be receiving their huge bonuses any week now and the management over at Lloyd Blankfein’s den of iniquity has put out the order through the public relations department that Great Satan employees are forbidden from gathering in groups of more than 12 for parties. Perhaps it’s damage control to tamp down an already outraged public that the moneychangers won betting with house money or perhaps they fear some sort of reprisals, funny that the financial terrorists are breaking up into cells.

For the peasants as you say there are always canned goods, my pantry has been filled up for over a year now and I would advise everyone to do likewise. The one place that you DO NOT want to be is out there fighting for food with the rabble Palinazis and Beckers when the shit really does hit the fan and the economic tsunami makes a direct hit that none of the shills in the corporate media will be able to spin. I would not want to be a dog or cat in an impoverished household this Christmas when the cupboard is bare and the stockings are on freezing feet instead of hung by the chimney with care and the furniture is taking the place of the yule logs in the fireplace to prevent the kiddies from freezing to death.

But I digress…
As always in Oceania the Ministry of Truth is putting out conflicting spin on the economic results from Black Friday, some say it was “encouraging” and others like the vaunted bible for the four flushing capitalist swine Wall Street Journal say what seems to be the opposite or “Ho-Hum”. I find it sardonically amusing that we now live in a country where the ‘media’ is not much different than some of the old Soviet territories where it all seems to be centrally produced, the prescence of the same variation of hyperbole in stories like “picking up steam”, “storms ahead”, “surging” yada yada yada are a dead giveaway. At least the dissidents understand that it’s ALL bullshit, just window dressing to keep the rubes from running amok before the police state is set up and the military in place domestically to quash rioting. Make no mistake, this fucker is still going to go down and Captain Ben Bernanke and First Mate Timmy Geithner are dialing down the engine room and calling for full power as the ship of fools picks up steam and nears ramming speed with a dead bead on that pesky iceberg that our arrogant and fat financial elitists are going to smash to smithereens with the bow.
I personally made a reconnaissance run to a few of the local stores on Friday, while I dared not venture out early to avoid the clamor by noon or so when the doorbuster sales had expired I felt that it was safe. First off I went to Best Buy, there was a mass of people there and the parking lot was jammed, people were circling waiting for cars to pull out but I was able to find a parking spot down by the Babies R’ Us, it was a nice hike to Best Buy but the day was pleasant and the exercise was nice. Once inside there was no chaos, full of people and the prized early sale items and cheapest Blu Rays (at least 5 per store as the ad said) were gone. Neither The Wrath of Khan or The Departed (both $7.99) were in stock and those were the ones I wanted so I just walked around and checked out the shoppers. There was strangely no sort of festive mood, more like zombies going through the motions, no hostility and an orderly GASP setup to lead the customers in a corral like setup of pylons (kind of reminded me of a cattle pen or whatever the setup is like where they lead sheep to the slaughterhouse), it wasn’t Wal Mart where being a greeter on the great American running of the pigs is only less dangerous than kicking in doors as a soldier in Afghanistan.
After I departed Best Buy I stopped by the Super Target, there was parking within about fifty yards from the door and the rest of the stores in the huge outdoor mall were really no busier than they normally are on any given Saturday. The same atmosphere pervaded inside where there was no chaos whatsoever although the 39.99 camcorder special was long gone there was plenty of other swag available at discount prices. They even had a $97 GPS tracker on sale (is this a great country or what? Now YOU can pay to buy the device that the NSA will use to track you), all in all though it was very underwhelming and nothing like last year. One report that I did get yesterday though was that many were paying with cash, it would actually be a good way to fight the banksters were everyone to start doing this as a blogger over at OpEd News suggests. It’s the way that I am going to be going once my plastic is maxed and my creditors told to go and fuck themselves, it’s harder to track and you can deprive the rotten bastards of their fees.
Anyway, that’s it for now, better late than never.
EE
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