Planet Shit Dispatch: Peckerwood Nation Edition
The bitter and recalcitrant Hillary Rodham-Clinton’s whopping 43 percent win in the West Virginia primary despite the category 5 spin doesn’t mean jack fucking shit. Consider that the mountaineer state’s demographics, the sort of folks that Clinton aide Mickey Kantor so eloquently refers to as “white niggers” are a fucking master race compared to the denizens of peckerwood nation down south of the Mason-Dixon Line. These hard-workin’ (when they are able to find jobs that haven’t been offshored) white voters are as easily duped with allegations of secret Muslim conspiracies, anti-Americanism by a ‘darky’ who refuses to wear a flag pin or hold his hand over his heart during the ridiculous fucking Stalinist pledge of allegiance and actually gives a rat’s ass about economic conditions in such capitalist desecrated shit holes like West Virginia rather than engage in laying stink bait about guns, gays and God. This is Clinton Country and could be the capital of the New Dixiecrats that Hillary is running hard to be the queen of. The ultimate statement on the sort of demographic that the Clintons curried such favor with is exemplified by famous figures such as Lynndie England and the rest of the Class of Abu Ghraib Prison who no doubt were heroic figures to many of the backwoods, barefoot hicks who prowl the Appalachians huntin’ for varmint to eat.
The Clinton spinners, surrogates, Hillemmings and morons on loan from Rush Limbaugh will roar into Kentucky to score another massive ‘win’ with a similar demographic and then keep moving the goalposts all the closer to that crucial Rules and Bylaws Committee meeting on at the end of May. In perhaps one of the most nauseous displays of pandering and disingenuousness that I have ever personally seen (and in these fucked times that speaks volumes) Clinton hack Terry McAuliffe took to the Sunday morning bloviation circuit with his magnum opus of flim-flamming and ass kissing taking place on Tim Russert’s ‘Press The Meat’. McAuliffe spun, contradicted, dissembled, shamelessly kept invoking Russert’s beloved dad ‘Big Russ’ and in an amusing moment had the tables turned on him when his own words were turned on him while trying to make a case to steal all of the Florida and Michigan delegates. Russert (redeeming himself in a very small way for devoting a full 20 minutes of a recent Obama interview to ridiculous questions on the Reverend Wright ‘controversy’) sprung a passage from McAuliffe’s own book on him.
MR. RUSSERT: A change. Also, Hillary Clinton, back in October, said, “You know, it’s clear, this election they’re having [in Michigan] is not going to count for anything.” Now, it’s counting for a lot.
I turn to the bible, “What a Party,” Terry McAuliffe.
MR. McAULIFFE: Good man, good man.
MR. RUSSERT: Your book.
MR. McAULIFFE: Yes, sir.
MR. RUSSERT: And back in 2003, this was a discussion…
MR. McAULIFFE: Yes.
MR. RUSSERT: …you had with Carl Levin, the senator from Michigan.
MR. McAULIFFE: Yeah. Yeah.
MR. RUSSERT: “I got a call on February 1, 2003, from Carl [Levin]” … senator from Michigan, “[who] told me they were going to hold the Michigan primary before New Hampshire, which would have led to complete chaos. … `If you do that, I will take away 50 percent of your delegates,’ I told them. They thought I was bluffing. But it was my responsibility as chairman to take action for the good of the party, and taking away half their delegates was well within my authority. … `You won’t deny us seats at the convention,’ [Levin] said. `Carl, take it to the bank.'” They’ll “`not get a credential. The closest'” thing you’ll “`get to Boston,'” the convention city, “`will be watching it on television. I will not let you break this entire nominating process for one state. The rules are the rules.'”
MR. McAULIFFE: Yep.
MR. RUSSERT: Chairman McAuliffe.
MR. McAULIFFE: You bet.
MR. RUSSERT: So now, Chairman Dean is saying the rules are the rules.
MR. McAULIFFE: Yeah.
MR. RUSSERT: Michigan broke them, they’re not going to be seated. Maybe they’ll get half. Would you accept that?
MR. McAULIFFE: Well, first of all, that’s now out in paperback, I want you to know. But second, I would say the rule is 50 percent. That’s the point I’d like to make. I had the right, the party, to take away 50 percent. The party took away 100 percent of the delegates. The rule is 50 percent. Had they only taken away 50 percent like the Republican Party did, Tim, you and I would not be having this conversation today.
MR. RUSSERT: So you would accept that as a compromise, half the Michigan and half the Florida delegates?
MR. McAULIFFE: We certainly might, you bet. But in fairness, the Rules and Bylaws Committee will meet on, on the 31st to make that decision. The issue is 50 percent. They took away 100 percent. He can’t deny that a million-75 people showed up in Florida and 600,000 showed up in Michigan. They voted, they were certified by the county and the state. These people voted. We have to win these two states in, in the general election. It’s important, Michigan and Florida.
MR. RUSSERT: But you’d take half.
MR. McAULIFFE: Well, I’ll–we’ll let the Rules and Bylaws, it’s up to them to make that decision. But the rule is 50 percent. Had they done 50 percent, Tim, you and I wouldn’t have this conversation today. They took away 100 percent.
A few years back I had a perfect example of why this once great country is now circling the drain delivered directly to my front door. If you love Chinese food you have to truly appreciate the difference between the great discovery of that rare really great ‘takee-outee’ emporium of great Chinese food and the slop that passes for it.The Chinese owners of the restaurant who had owned it for years through which the consistency was absolutely impeccable for a non standardized chain eatery and who were able to deliver the freshest, hottest, most tasty and authentic heaping portions of egg foo yung, pork fried rice, moo goo gai pan, szechuan beef and lo mein while making enough of a profit to remain in business suddenly sold out without warning. Well much to my dismay the product that was delivered by the new white boy ownership was about as edible as something dug out of a fucking dumpster.
The rise in gas prices to the 3 dollar a gallon level likely drove them to do it and they had to be laughing all of the way to the bank. In addition to being great cooks they were shrewd business people and understood that profit margins running primarily a delivery based restaurant were going to be dropping like Newton’s Law Of Gravity before too much long. Enter some white chumps with money looking to buy up a successful business and the goodwill that came with it. Of course the quality immediately went straight to hell, the portions shrunk and the prices went up.
You see, with ‘whitey’ and his great free market capitalist ideals the emphasis is never on quality, only profits. The restaurant was be out of business by the end of the year, ironically it is the year of the Dog according to the Chinese calendar. It is was the only white meat that ‘whitey’ would have been able to make a profit on by that time with soaring gas prices and a declining customer base. The Chinese were smart, once again they beat whitey at his own game. They sold for peak profit at the exact time that their operating costs made it impossible to continue to produce their product in the same manner that had guaranteed their success, and capitalist whitey was left holding a flaming bag of dogshit once again and of course the bag was manufactured in China.
I never personally envisioned that the 21st Century would be one of regression because we are getting far closer to the Flintstones than to the Jetsons in Der Heimat.
I guess that if I had one tip and one tip only to offer the defenders of Pleasantville USA it is this: