A Year In Hell: Part Two
Damned Bad Luck: If you thought that the true definition of serious misfortune was having a busload of Republicans going over the end of a cliff with two empty seats think again. On May 10 during a speech in Tbilisi, Georgia a cloth wrapped hand grenade was apparently lobbed from the crowd at George W. Bush and landed about 100 feet from the podium due to the inability of some rag armed loser in not being able to make the throw, talk about a hostile audience! Much to the dismay of the majority of the civilized world the fucking thing was a dud making the would be assassin a two time loser and ensuring that Bush would be around to continue his administration’s dismantling of America as well as escalating the holy crusade against all non fundamentalist Christians on the planet.
Power of The Dark Side: Star Wars III: The Revenge of the Sith, the long awaited final installment in the epic space series debuts much to the delight of the legions of faux stormtroopers, Wookies, Droids, Boba Fetts and other plastic light saber yielding dorks who spent ungodly amounts of their time standing in line for the opportunity to see the culmination of the origin of the evil Darth Vader. The movie was just another of the shallow, special effects laden pieces of trash that the series had become in the era of computer generated graphics but George Lucas and crew took a rare foray into social and political commentary by allegedly taking veiled shots at our nation’s very own enfant terrible turned dark, power drunk emperor. The Klingons, Romulans and Imperial Storm Troopers of the Republican noise machine were outraged at the ripple in the force.
Deep Throat Revealed: The mystery of the identity of Deep Throat, the inside source who tipped Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein to the story of the seventies and ultimately led to the demise of the nefarious bastard Richard M. Nixon, who now looks like a piker compared to the far more dangerous megalomaniac in the White House now and it wasn’t Hal Holbrook. Later on in the year Woodward would lose a bit of the sheen off his Robert Redford image when he is reveled as just another one time good journalist gone to seed having grown fat off of his reputation and become just another cog in the establishment machine when his duplicity in the Valerie Plame leak scandal is revealed kicking off a new grand jury session for Patrick Fitzgerald. His access for recent hagiographies on George W. Bush appears to have come with a price. More on this one later in the year.
Really Brain Dead: Poor Terri Schiavo’s autopsy was completed and contrary to the diagnosis of Dr. Bill Frist and all of the other so called ‘expert’ witnesses called by the well funded movement theocrats who so vehemently advocated against the courts and her husband Michael who was viciously slandered, her brain had substantially liquefied and was irreversibly damaged although she still possessed a higher I.Q. at death than ninety percent of the ignorant unemployed peckerwoods who showed up at the hospice to protest and obstruct the rights of other sick patients and their grieving families.
Jacko Beats It: Michael Jackson once again slimes out of child molestation charges in what should have with any sort of prosecutorial competence been a slam dunk case that would have sent the ‘King of Pop’ to the slammer once and for all. However, the power of celebrity along with millions of dollars spent to smear and intimidate witnesses and pander to the public through a barrage of P.R. trumps the law once more giving yet another black eye to Southern California district attorneys who despite their desire to hold wealthy celebrities accountable for their actions are absolutely clueless tacticians when it comes to fighting the dirty battle that is necessary for justice to be served, the incompetent pussies have just got to be Democrats given their track record of futility and incompetence. O.J. Simpson is still working on his golf game while devoting his life to looking for the real killers (Marcia Clark and her incompetent crew of prosecutors were so overmatched that the only way that they may have actually gotten a conviction would have been if they had introduced into evidence photos of Simpson poking his dick into the mouth of Nicole’s decapitated head and maybe not even then given their gross ineptitude in matching up with the so called legal ‘Dream Team’ of Johnnie Cochran and F.Lee Bailey made the decision very early on according to fellow attorney Robert Shapiro ‘not only play the race card but to also deal it from the bottom of the deck’…they were Rove before Rove became a national name and the prosecution was clueless from the get go in the same manner as Democrats are today), Robert ‘Baretta’ Blake is out hunting for a new wife and now Whacko Jacko will be free to continue his career as a pathological sexual predator although facing dwindling finances that will make him use far more discretion when seducing young boys with ‘Jesus Juice’ before swallowing their cocks.
More Tabloid Cheese: Tragic isn’t it to watch the world of celebrity sleaze destroy a deity of their own making but that’s exactly what happened to man child Tom Cruise due to his recent ‘bizarre’ behavior. Cruise who was booked solid throughout the electronic carnival of perversion that is television in the era of the cult of celebrity had the audacity to defile the Temple of Oprah with a spontaneous outburst of energy over his most recent celebrity love affair, jumping up and down on a studio couch and most importantly becoming a bigger attraction than the host herself. For this he was vilified and mocked but the biggest ‘outrage’ came during an interview on NBC trash morning offering and primo network profit center ‘The Today Show’ where the actor dared to admonish poseur journalist and big time shill Matt Lauer over the drug Ritalin which is given to children with ADHD. Cruise had both the ignorance to proclaim that psychiatry is a ‘pseudo science’ as well as the audacity to make the un-American, anti-Capitalist statement that runs counter to the pharmaceutical lobby and neocon agenda and dared to suggest that the systematic turning of children into doped up little zombies was wrong. For that Cruise was vilified, his religion (Scientology) mocked and attacked as any religion other than radical Dominionism or Armageddon obsessed eschatology is in post inclusive America. Perhaps Cruise’s recent choice of projects which have found him in collaboration with the Jewish Steven Spielberg is a particular burr in the ass of the rising Christo Fascist empire, after all they need the Jews to perish in fiery agony for their sick fantasies of lustful revenge and domination to be fulfilled.
Deliverance: Sandra Day O’Connor retires from Supreme Court bench clearing the way for the holy grail of the theocratic movement, packing the judiciary with anti American zealots who are hell bent on blowing up the wall of separation.
Hearing Voices Again: Fiercely possessed Christian Reconstructionist and highly influential Republican televangelist Pat Robertson suggests that the assassination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez be sanctioned by the Bush lackeys in Porter Goss’ new, revamped CIA. Hey Reverend, those voices that you are hearing are probably very similar in tone to those of the Son of Sam’s dogs…maybe it’s time to seek some professional help for that megalomania and those paranoid delusions that you keep having.
Storming The Gates: The nascent anti-war movement rears it’s head. Cindy Sheehan, and anti war activist mother whose son died in Iraq sets up Camp Casey outside of ‘Chickenhawk Ranch’ in Crawford where Dirty George is holed up, cutting brush in an ongoing phony attempt to appear as a reg’lar guy and popping out occasionally for fundraisers. Sheehan is of course vilified by right wing media and abandoned by the appeasers of the DLC and their corporate suckass platoons of bought and paid for so called opposition party politicians including queen in waiting Hillary Clinton. The unexpected result is a black eye for the Bush administration as she taps into a growing public sentiment of uneasiness with the war. Didn’t you notice that all of those ridiculous fucking yellow support the troops ribbons started to disappear from vehicles about this time…..all but the ones that were turned sideways in reference to the ‘Jesus Fish’ in support of the Evangelical crusade to bring about The Rapture. This was a huge and rare public relations loss for Team Bush whose aura of invincibility would very soon be swept away forever by the force majeure known as Katrina.
Making Landfall: The horrible fury of nature is displayed as Hurricane Katrina devastates New Orleans and the Mississippi Gulf Coast leaving behind devasting scenes more reminiscent of pictures of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in the aftermath of the dropping of the atomic bombs sixty years ago. Grand Emperor Bush shrugs and strums away on a gittar at a phony P.R. stop in San Diego on his ‘Escape from Cindy Sheehan Tour’ while the Big Easy drowns and then fails to respond adequately for days while anarchy breaks out in the streets and thousands of mainly black Americans are stranded in deplorable conditions in the Louisiana Superdome and New Orleans Convention Center amidst without food, water, medical assistance or adequate law enforcement to prevent the looters and rapists from engaging in their mayhem. This debacle would prove to be the long needed reverse 9/11 that would strip the Bush administration from their aura of immunity to criticism and expose the emperor as the naked, babbling fool that he is and always has been to any not seduced by the imagery or terrified by the fear mongering. The normally proficient White House propaganda operation was caught off guard by this one and the man in the bubble had to be shown a DVD of the wreckage before he went into damage control mode. The official excuse (there always is one for losers) was that Karl Rove was in the hospital with kidney stones which I hope caused the rotund fiend days of excruciating pain….he deserves it.