A Year In Hell: Part One

2005: A YEAR IN HELL
G.W. Bush may have been Time’s Man of The Year but so what, Hitler once was too!

JANUARY
The Best ‘News’ Money Can Buy: In what would become a recurring theme throughout the year with numerous others black commentator Armstrong Williams is revealed to be an administration shill, taking payola to advocate for the right wing agenda of Karl Rove and Tom DeLay. The Williams bombshell was only the first to be revealed as the pervasive use of taxpayer dollars to fund global fascist propaganda is raging throughout the media like an unstoppable malignant cancer. Not that the vast majority of Americans bother to read or watch the news anyway.

All Hail The Fourth Reich: Bush’s coronation ceremony features a Nuremberg style speech that promotes empire and hegemony in the guise of democracy. Fanatical neo conservative propagandists Charles Krauthaummer and William Kristol were retained as consultants in the crafting of this epic Leo Straus tinged disgorgement of bellicose rhetoric that served notice on the world that Iraq was only the appetizer or the modern day equivalent of the Sudetenlands…will Iran soon be Bush’s Poland?

Quid Pro Quo: Condi Rice rewarded for duplicitous obsequiousness with Secretary of State appointment. It took a lot of stones for Rice to lie in front of the 9/11 Commission after public opinion in an election year demanded it but she dissembled masterfully and was rewarded with Colin Powell’s old office as a result.

FEBRUARY

Watch Out For Speedy Gonzalez: Longtime Bush lackey Alberto Gonzalez confirmed as Attorney General, sails through on the sole virtue of being an improvement over religious fanatic John Ashcroft. The nude statues in the Department of Justice are once again allowed to return to their natural state.

Our National Day of Excess: The defending champion New England Patriots beat prima donna WR Terrell Owens and the Philadelphia Eagles 24-21 for NFL title in national pagan orgy of hype and excess that is the Super Bowl. The real winners are the advertisers who are able to once again charge a record amount for tasteless and tacky advertising spots during the game.

Hot Gay Sex in the White House: The Jeff Gannon sex scandal explodes like a cum shot off of the roof of the mouth of an ‘unnamed senior White House official’. There was nothing funnier than hypocritical Republicans crying ‘gay bigotry’ over this lurid little tale of a gay prostitute with high level White House clearance. Where were the national morality police this time? At least Bill Clinton was getting his joint lubed by a member of the opposite sex not presiding over a house of ill repute where homosexual prostitution was rampant. Where is the restoration of honor and integrity to the White House when so much cornholing is being conducted in the outer offices?

Who Cares? Part One: NHL Season officially cancelled: no fucking shit!

MARCH
A Trophy for the Right: Dan Rather, feared and loathed by the extreme right since his days as the CBS White House Correspondent during the exposure of Richard M. Nixon’s criminal behavior signed off for good as anchor of the CBS Evening News after being disgraced and hung out to dry by CBS corporate hacks as a result of a Karl Rove trap regarding allegedly falsified documents relating to George W. Bush’s controversial absence from his stint with the Alabama National Guard. The right wing bloggers rejoiced after hanging this prized pelt in their trophy case.

Feeding Frenzy: The Terri Schiavo circus, it is rare where one extended incident manages to taint every person and institution involved but this was the one that did it. From Tom DeLay and Bill Frist’s posturing and pandering to their whacko masters of the radical religious right, to George W. Bush’s midnight bill signing, to his brother Jeb’s near state constitutional crisis by sending his storm troopers to invade the hospice and seize the living corpse to the typical rollovers of the Democrats, to the hundreds of freaks who turned out to hold vigils, to the death threats and excommunication from his church of the local judge, to the bottom feeders like racist cop of O.J. Simpson fame Mark Furhrman, publicity hound Jesse Jackson, to violence preaching anti abortion activist Randall Terry, to militia hero Bo Gritz and the FOX network onsite crew, to the Schindler family who prostituted their daughter out to the theocrats all emerged from this sordid fiasco forever stigmatized by their association with it.

APRIL
Pope Dies, Parasites Rejoice: Beloved Pope John Paul II passed away after holding the exalted position for 27 years during which he survived assassination attempts, toured the globe playing to audiences that contemporary rock stars could only dream of in the stadium venues that they typically dominated, did more to defeat Communism than the fraudulent poseur Ronald Wilson ever did and in his last days even allegedly feared that George W. Bush was the Anti-Christ. The opportunists were out in force before the body of the pontiff even reached room temperature, peddling memorabilia on E-Bay and in kiosks and retail outlets throughout the world. I personally was awestruck when my local Super Wal Mart’s legendary JIT (Just In Time) inventory system ensured that there were commemorative Pope John Paul II magazines and other cheesy items available within three days of the Pope’s passing proving that the only power more impressive than that of God himself is that of free market Capitalism and the ultimate symbol of worship: $$$$.
Judicial Activism: Religious right attacks on the judiciary cross the line from normal nonsensical ranting into an outright attempt to overthrow the American judicial system. Tom DeLay (who else) used the triumph of the system over zealotry in allowing the sad Schiavo debacle to finally end with the poor woman’s passing to launch a renewed assault against judges everywhere in stoking the fires of holy rollers with volcanic rhetoric “The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior” spouted DeLay who threatened judges who interpreted the law according to the constitution with impeachments as well as cutting the funding for the courts. Implied threats and the apparent sanctioning of violence were evident in comments of Texas Senator John Cornyn where he blamed recent courtroom attacks on pent up frustration over judicial rulings not in accordance with the theocratic agenda. Conferences and rallies were organized by hate spewing demagogues including a massive Justice Sunday event where Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist appeared to denounce ‘judicial activism’ and threaten to invoke the ‘nuclear option’ to eliminate the filibuster from Senate procedures via a television broadcast that was beamed into participating into megachurch temples of wrath throughout the land. The Naziesque events were organized by Tony Perkins (the other psycho) of the Family Research Council. Perkins is a man who once purchased the mailing list of former KKK Grand Wizard and Louisiana politico David Duke to recruit members for his organization…and you wonder why these people are so hostile and bigoted?

Got Mit Uns: The media frenzy continued unabated as the conclave gathered at the Vatican to select the successor to the deceased pope, mesmerized by puffs of smoke up the chimney of the chapel, an archaic ritual that would signify that a new pontiff had been elected. And the winner is: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger nicknamed God’s Rottweiler and Panzercardinal, former member of the Hitler Youth and current leader of a Catholic church movement seeking to return to the good old days of yore before the Reformation and Enlightenment put a damper on the true blood soaked spirit of Roman Catholicism. The man who once said that “The process against Galileo was reasonable and just”, a former servant of Der Fuehrer himself , a man representing the most hardcore elements of the church and espousing a return to the doctrine of the days when heretics were flayed apart during the inquisition was the winner. The arcane ceremony of the chimney and smoke made for great tv but is yet another sign of the regressive religious fervor that is plaguing society these days. After two streams of black smoke up the chimney showing failed votes to elect a new pope there finally came to the delight of the holy flockers gathered in St. Peter’s square a signal that a new pope had been chosen, a stream of white smoke belched forth from the chimney of St. Peter’s Basilica, perhaps it just took Ratzinger a while to finally find a Jew to burn. As Pope, he has chosen the name Benedict XVI to use as the stamp of approval that will be affixed to his holy crusade….I guess that the title of Hitler II would have generated just a bit too much controversy for comfort.

Posted on 2005/12/28, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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