A Year In Hell: Part One
2005: A YEAR IN HELL
G.W. Bush may have been Time’s Man of The Year but so what, Hitler once was too!
All Hail The Fourth Reich: Bush’s coronation ceremony features a Nuremberg style speech that promotes empire and hegemony in the guise of democracy. Fanatical neo conservative propagandists Charles Krauthaummer and William Kristol were retained as consultants in the crafting of this epic Leo Straus tinged disgorgement of bellicose rhetoric that served notice on the world that Iraq was only the appetizer or the modern day equivalent of the Sudetenlands…will Iran soon be Bush’s Poland?
Quid Pro Quo: Condi Rice rewarded for duplicitous obsequiousness with Secretary of State appointment. It took a lot of stones for Rice to lie in front of the 9/11 Commission after public opinion in an election year demanded it but she dissembled masterfully and was rewarded with Colin Powell’s old office as a result.
Our National Day of Excess: The defending champion New England Patriots beat prima donna WR Terrell Owens and the Philadelphia Eagles 24-21 for NFL title in national pagan orgy of hype and excess that is the Super Bowl. The real winners are the advertisers who are able to once again charge a record amount for tasteless and tacky advertising spots during the game.
Hot Gay Sex in the White House: The Jeff Gannon sex scandal explodes like a cum shot off of the roof of the mouth of an ‘unnamed senior White House official’. There was nothing funnier than hypocritical Republicans crying ‘gay bigotry’ over this lurid little tale of a gay prostitute with high level White House clearance. Where were the national morality police this time? At least Bill Clinton was getting his joint lubed by a member of the opposite sex not presiding over a house of ill repute where homosexual prostitution was rampant. Where is the restoration of honor and integrity to the White House when so much cornholing is being conducted in the outer offices?
Who Cares? Part One: NHL Season officially cancelled: no fucking shit!
Feeding Frenzy: The Terri Schiavo circus, it is rare where one extended incident manages to taint every person and institution involved but this was the one that did it. From Tom DeLay and Bill Frist’s posturing and pandering to their whacko masters of the radical religious right, to George W. Bush’s midnight bill signing, to his brother Jeb’s near state constitutional crisis by sending his storm troopers to invade the hospice and seize the living corpse to the typical rollovers of the Democrats, to the hundreds of freaks who turned out to hold vigils, to the death threats and excommunication from his church of the local judge, to the bottom feeders like racist cop of O.J. Simpson fame Mark Furhrman, publicity hound Jesse Jackson, to violence preaching anti abortion activist Randall Terry, to militia hero Bo Gritz and the FOX network onsite crew, to the Schindler family who prostituted their daughter out to the theocrats all emerged from this sordid fiasco forever stigmatized by their association with it.
Got Mit Uns: The media frenzy continued unabated as the conclave gathered at the Vatican to select the successor to the deceased pope, mesmerized by puffs of smoke up the chimney of the chapel, an archaic ritual that would signify that a new pontiff had been elected. And the winner is: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger nicknamed God’s Rottweiler and Panzercardinal, former member of the Hitler Youth and current leader of a Catholic church movement seeking to return to the good old days of yore before the Reformation and Enlightenment put a damper on the true blood soaked spirit of Roman Catholicism. The man who once said that “The process against Galileo was reasonable and just”, a former servant of Der Fuehrer himself , a man representing the most hardcore elements of the church and espousing a return to the doctrine of the days when heretics were flayed apart during the inquisition was the winner. The arcane ceremony of the chimney and smoke made for great tv but is yet another sign of the regressive religious fervor that is plaguing society these days. After two streams of black smoke up the chimney showing failed votes to elect a new pope there finally came to the delight of the holy flockers gathered in St. Peter’s square a signal that a new pope had been chosen, a stream of white smoke belched forth from the chimney of St. Peter’s Basilica, perhaps it just took Ratzinger a while to finally find a Jew to burn. As Pope, he has chosen the name Benedict XVI to use as the stamp of approval that will be affixed to his holy crusade….I guess that the title of Hitler II would have generated just a bit too much controversy for comfort.