Darwin Scores Again and More
W.J. Bryan Rolls Over: In another triumph over mental retardation a Pennsylvania judge ruled that Intelligent Design aka Creationism, another of those great Orwellian right wing slogans that are targeted for the two word bumper sticker culture that is pervasive in America today.What a fucked up month it has been for the theocrats, first the trumped up phoniness of the godless heathen liberal war on Christmas and now the rotten judicial activists are chasing God/alternative theories of the origin of man out of the classroom. Wasn’t this issue settled during the Scopes Monkey Trial eighty or so years ago? Get over it people, your crusade to roll back the Enlightenment is going to start getting one hell of a lot more difficult once it becomes exposed as the power grab that it is and with each and every passing day there are more and more truly rational people who are being awakened to it. Not only have you succeeded in polluting the holiday season through your ill will towards man and your irrational hostility and bigotry toward inclusiveness, but your little snit induced targeted boycotts towards retailers have actually reinforced their importance in the grand capitalist orgy of consumerism that is Christmas in America and further entrenched Jesus as second banana to Santa. Hey, you fucked up, you trusted your preachers and pundits and your FOX created jihad is a complete fraud and as a result of your impetuousness your war against Darwin has also just been dealt a major setback. What’s next? Proof that George W. Bush is the product of early experiments in artificial insemination technology involving simian butt fucking? There is no doubt that Jerry Falwell’s legal army will be massing and the holiday outrage will be flowing like egg nog spiked with rot gut liquor throughout the right wing echo chamber. During my recent drive through several local neighborhoods I noticed that blowup snowmen, grinches, santas and even Homer Simpsons outnumbered inflatable Jesuses and nativity scenes by about 100 to 3 and I actually live in a RED STATE… but just have a Merry Fucking Xmas nontheless ok?
The Mythical Phoenix: One of the top Republican noise machine talking points of the week is the resurrection (no pun intended for the nation’s top Christ figure) of the ratings of George W. Bush. The corporate media is falling over each other to trumpet his resurgence in the wake of the month long P.R. blast and point to the results of one poll that was commissioned by The Washington Post and ABC News that has placed the King’s approval rating at 47 percent while simultaneously failing to cover two other influential polls that seem to indicate otherwise. A USA Today/Gallup poll placed Bush’s approval at a whopping 41 percent and an MSNBC/Wall Street Journal poll had it at 39 percent. Three polls within a week and the only one that receives any major coverage is the one that most serves the Bush administration? HUH? P.T. Barnum was absolutely correct in observing that there is a sucker born every minute, they breed like horny rabbits in the land of the sheep and weasels that is present day America.
Congressional Circle Jerk: Hillary’s Temple Eunuchs made a rare stand on Wednesday, smacking back another slimy attempt to subvert the democratic process by the Republican’s attachment of the ANWAR drilling provision onto a must pass defense appropriations bill. Oil industry lackey Ted Stevens of Alaska was left to wander around in a daze wearing his ridiculous fucking ‘Incredible Hulk’ necktie (was he wearing Spidey undies as well?) muttering profanities to himself and wondering just what in the Hell had gone wrong. Of course the Army of Rove would exercise a dirty pool tactic thereby decrying any opposition of this oil company giveaway as ‘unpatriotic’ and tarring those voting against the bill as ‘not supporting the troops’ as is so common for all of the armchair patriots who never bothered to take the time to serve in the military to begin with. The weasels in the Senate were true to form in caving in on civil liberties and negotiating to ‘temporarily’ extend the heinous USAPATRIOT Act for six months in the same week that it was revealed that Lord W. was systematically signing off on wholesale bugging of American citizens and couldn’t give a tinker’s damn on whether or not it was legal because HE is above the law and everyone else can ram their Habeus Corpus up their ass. Republican honcho Senator Arlen Specter promised that there would be investigations and revisions but given his sad history of rolling over time and again to the Bush-Cheney junta and the fanatics on the Christian right along with the shortening attention span of the public and it will soon be the law of the land for the remainder of all of our lives…kiss your right to privacy goodbye and just pray that you are not deemed to be a significant enough of a menace to the Bush regime to end up secretly arrested by the Homeland Security Gestapo and locked up in a secret dungeon where you will be tortured until either death, madness or the rapture come to rescue you from oblivion. The sooner that the right wing lap dog Specter’s cancer comes out of remission and he succumbs and takes the dirt nap that will remove him from this mortal coil and most importantly the chairmanship of the Senate Judiciary Committee the better. Never one to bypass issues of severe national importance like threatening to hold hearings over whether Terrell Owens got a raw deal when his ass was sent packing in Philly while putting trivial matters such as the Samuel Alito confirmation hearings, the Bush administration’s illegal use of the NSA to monitor domestic political opponents and now the USAPATRIOT Act’s enshrinement as the rule of the land in the United States of September Eleventh on the back burner. Specter is an affront to the constitutional responsibilities of the Senate to act as a vital check upon fanatical executives seeking to become kings. May the New Year bring a return of the organ eating malignancy that in poetic justice is doing to his own body what his accommodation and appeasement of the reactionary fascists who have illicitly seized power are doing to American democracy itself.
NOTE: Charon will be taking an extended break for the Christmas weekend in order to revel in the traditional American values of gluttony, drunkenness, football, general sin and the opening of the mountain of colorfully wrapped tokens of consumerism that are piled up beneath my family holiday tree but will return again next week with the first annual year in review as well as recognition for the most despicable event of 2005.